All Part of God's Perfect Plan!

CA1 reflections

2010-03-07T23:12:00.002+08:00

CA1 ended just last week and today I was doing up the target setting form for the various subjects. For my class of primary 4, it is their first time they are taking their CA. Being in a higher progress class, many of them do not have much difficulty coping with the mainstream curriculum, though they enjoy asking essential questions to daily applications.

Well, for the CA, they apparently did not do very well due to a few factors.

One, was that most of them were complacent and thought that they would do as well as the previous years. As P4 is the streaming year for them, I have always made it a point to tell the class that it is a crucial year, and ask them to consider answering questions in the conventional sure-correct way versus answering it in a creative but not so sure whether right or wrong way. Some of them felt that CA was 'less' of an exam compared to the SA, so it must be more difficult. They felt that since the CA was more difficult, the SA had to be simple and were looking forward to having a 'good time' in SA1. I warned them against such complacency and I seriously think that some of them need to have a rude wake up call in their mock practice before sitting for the SA.

Secondly, some pupils could not cope with the scope of the test and were unready to handle it. Especially for Mathematics where many topics were tested on P3 syllabus. The pupils 'thought' that they had already mastered them in the previous year. Apparently not. Opps, isn't that complacency?

Thirdly, some felt that or had the impression that I was wasting time going through assessment book questions that seemed out of the syllabus. They would not clarify if they did not understand, nor are they bothered even when parents ask them to do it at home. The very same type of questions appeared in both the mock tests and the CA paper itself. Those who had spent time learning from those periods had done better. Those who chose not to obviously did not. Opps, isn't it complacency?

That is the main reason for the class under performing.

For individual subjects:
English
More than half the class exceeded their SA2 score in 2009, which was a fairly easy paper. This shows that the class can be further pushed to achieve higher scores.
Exceptions were XO who was very lethagic in class and lost in thoughts. Parents have been reminding him to do work but he seems unmotivated. There might have been a trigger that happened recently that caused him to suffer a dip in grades.
DW dipped by 4.3%. Procrastinates doing English homework and corrections. Need a lot of reminders, scoldings, talking to parents an staying back. He is trying to improve now.
AL had chicken pox and absent for 2 weeks, which explained the drop in grades.
JX has a weak foundation in English and unable to be expressive in speaking and writing.
LY, MC drop in grades were due to command of the language.

Maths
10 pupils exceeded target. Paper was not difficult but main reason for not doing well is the number of topics tested for the CA. Few topics were on P4 work and pupils could not cope with the diversity of topics.

Science
4 pupils exceeded target. Science was known to be a simple subject as reflected in P3 papers. P4 paper standard was pitched at a higher level and pupils were not able to adapt to it. Need more practice in process skills. Possible to have extra 1 more Science period in the week?

All in all, the pupils can do better and probably the downfall of some was that of complacency and lack of practice and exposure to questions.
God be my strength...

T1W4 - Word Wall

2010-01-29T12:14:00.002+08:00

I have tried out Word Wall in my class, finally! Mr Haniff was the first teacher who shared the Word Wall with me, but till this year, I've never really got to do it. Guess my greatest hindrance is that it is too troublesome. This year is different, and the English department at the school I'm at advocated a Word Wall in every class. So, I naturally had to do it. Well, so far I've managed to get the Word Wall up and did a few activities with the class. The pupils loved the Word Wall, and so do I. THANK YOU, MR HANIFF! =)

Getting the Word Wall up needed black paper, so I got 4 large pieces meant for the class notice boards to be put at the back of the class. There was my Word Wall. Then, I bought construction paper, those 100 GSM type, which were more durable than the 70 GSM ones. Got Edward one afternoon to help me with drawing lines on the papers, each 5 cm apart, and then I cut them into small strips of paper. In a day, the Word Wall and the papers to put on were ready! I was ready for the first Word Wall activity. YAY!

First activity:
Shared the rationale of the Word Wall and told them that from the words put up, I will device many activities from there and that they better learn these words. I gave every pupil a coloured piece of paper and a marker and asked them to write down any new word that they have learnt that week during lessons. I stressed that they needn't have to worry if they do not know how to spell the words correctly. When all the words have been written and collected, I got them to write the meanings of those words at the back of the piece of coloured paper. After which, I collected the papers and shared them with the class. This was a review of the new words they have learnt, and they could better recall the meanings of those words after a round of going through.

Second activity: Use those words as part of unseen spelling. Pupils not supposed to look to the back of the class when spelling is given out.

Third activity: I took the words, turned them to the back and gave the meaning of those words instead, and ask pupils to give the vocab word that they have written down.

I have yet to explore the many ways the Word Wall can be used. Am thinking of incorporating it into composition, perhaps telling pupils to use at least 2 words on the Word Wall in their composition.

Reflection

2010-01-06T20:46:00.003+08:00

Since transferring school from Fengshan to Farrer Park a year ago, I've seemed to have stopped reflecting deeply into my teaching practices. Have decided to revive it again. Not as something extra to what I'm doing, but also to constantly think about and ponder about what has been planned for my pupils. Of course, I really miss my RO's comments after every entry as it helped me assess my own skills. =D

Today I tried out Michelle's 'Show, not tell' teaching method as tuning-in to my English topic of Just Imagine. The activity was supposed to be an imaginary box where I'd open and take out an imaginary object and use it. As example, I took out a banana and ate it, before putting it back into the box and throwing the box to a pupil. That pupil would have to open the box, take something else out, use it, put it back and throw it to another pupil. The activity went on and the rest of the pupils would have to jot down what they have imagined into their English notebooks.

It was the first time the class played that activity so they had a lot of questions to ask in clarifying their doubts. Soon, the activity started and they realised that they did not have much ideas to present to the class. Fortunately I had backups. I wrote down 10 items that would be relatively easy to present and the pupils rose up to the occasion.

At the end of the activity, most of them got the answers correct and they were all engaged in the lesson. It was a good tuning-in though the activity took close to 30 minutes, most of the time attributed to explaining of the game and clarifying of doubts.

I would like to conduct this activity again, knowing that if I were to mention 'Show, not tell', the pupils would immediately know how to play the activity and thus the play-time would be significantly cut down to 15 minutes or less. =)
God be my strength...

Pastor Sunil

2009-12-02T05:57:00.002+08:00

After a long struggle with malignant brain tumour, our beloved Pastor Sunil went home with the Lord this early morning at 12.45am. Matthew and I prayed for his recovery but God had better plans and took him home. I believe that Pastor Sunil is now with God and in Heaven, a place without pain or suffering.

I recall the very last time I saw Pastor Sunil, which was on a Sunday during communion. Pastor Sunil was giving communion when I sensed that he wasn't very 'right'. He seemed a little more clumsy than usual and I just felt that something wasn't too right. Thought that perhaps he had a late night and was probably tired. We had lunch with my sister after church and she also sensed the same thing about Pastor Sunil. The very night, we received an SMS from the CPC prayer hotline that Pastor Sunil will be going for a scan and that he is feeling very worried about it.

The next day, it was found from the scan that he had contracted a massive tumour and it was very bad. He had to be warded for the following week, where an operation was scheduled. Pastor Sunil started to have more adverse symptoms of the illness and he started convulsing and having high fever. The church prayed and prayed for his recovery. The next few days were very critical and Pastor Sunil was in CCU. No one except his closest relatives and aunty Soh Lan could go in to see him.

Day by day, Covenantors stayed in prayer for Pastor Sunil and literally, our hearts skipped a beat when the SMS sounded as numerous updates of his condition flooded our inbox. We didn't mind. We simply hoped that he would get better.

God miraculously brought Pastor Sunil out of danger after a long while and he was able to come home to rest and be cared for by aunty Soh Lan and a private nurse. Signs of recovery began to take place and he was getting better by the day. We thanked God! I really hoped to see Pastor Sunil again in church, testifying of God's great gift of healing.

These recent 3-4 months, Pastor Sunil's condition seemed to have got better and he was responding to visits by Covenantors. We felt encouraged by the various testimonies given by friends like uncle Victor, aunty Regina and Ming Ci when they visited Pastor Sunil.

Just these few weeks, urgent prayer requests were sent out that the fever had came back and Pastor Sunil was down with phlegm and pneumonia. We prayed and prayed again. Yesterday, yet another SMS was received that Pastor Sunil was in very critical condition and that night was very crucial as his blood pressure kept falling. We prayed and prayed.

Up to a certain point when praying, I felt that God perhaps wanted to end all that suffering after so long. I started to question God why it took so long. Hasn't he suffered so much already? I've not seen him since that communion and yet it pains my heart upon receiving those SMSes. What more about his family members who were in close contact with him.

I woke up this morning at 5.45am to turn off my handphone alarm, which sounded for me to prepare for school. I read the SMS from the prayer hotline. Pastor Sunil had gone home with the Lord at 12.45am. I could not sleep as I usually would snooze till 6.30am. Had to type down this blog.

For all that had happened, I know for one that Pastor Sunil is with God now and he is in a wonderful place/ He is completely healed and with a new body too and definitely no more tumour. Amen.

God be my strength...

1st year anniversary

2009-11-22T20:18:00.002+08:00

One year ago was Matthew and my wedding. It was a memorable day and even till now, we still hold it dearly to our hearts. Today, one year later, we are of course still happily married. A series of events took place today which marked another interesting and memorable journey of our lives. =)

As it is Sunday, we woke up early to go for first service and after that was pleasantly surprised to be wished by uncle Francis! Wow, he remembered! Hee...

After church, we went to have lunch at Straits Kitchen at Grand Hyatt. It was a place recommended by Maths department at Fengshan when we had the farewell dinner for me. I felt a tinge of sadness when I entered the place, because I remembered everyone from Fengshan. Well, the food and ambeince there was good. Matthew and I loved the carrot cake and satay. There was an array of fruit juices too, which were very thick. Mango, sour plum, pineapple, honeydew and rose syrup were served in big gigantic glasses! There was a wide variety of food at every corner of the place, and each section was about a particular race. There was peranakan, chinese and indian food, with lots of choices. Crowded, but ok lah.

After that, we proceeded to City Hall, to a place where Matthew simply refused to give any hint of where he was bringing me. He could not find the place, but still insisted on not saying where he was going to bring me. Hahahaha..... later he whispered to me that it was the Toy Museum. That brought a smile to my face as I had wanted to go there sometime ago. Well, the place sounded interesting, so why not? We walked awhile before getting to the Toy Museum. There were so many collectibles and toys available that I'm sure the museum was worth a lot! We saw Popeye figurines, Astroboy, Astroboy's sister, Felix the Cat and many others. Only drawback was that there could be better documentation of the artefacts, which were really a lot!

We headed home after that and after bath, we presented each other with the gifts we got for each other. Matthew gave me a surprise with a Chanel perfume, one that I would only see, but never buy. Too expensive, and it's only something that I would test test, smell smell, but never never buy. So it was a pleasant surprise! He wrote an interesting card for me too, which I treasure. =)) That made my day!

I gave him a box of Roche chocolates that had 3 varieties, something that he liked. He pointed out earlier today that the varieties are interesting, and it was great to get him something he liked. Gave him a handmade card, which cheered him up a lot. We laughed and laughed. =) Hee! It was writen on study cards, but had pop-up stickers and 3d lettering stickers on certain parts of the card. I saw that he was very tickled and liked it.

Now, when I'm typing this, it really thrills my heart to think back on the wonderful day spent.

Thank you, Dear!! I enjoyed the day very much. Love you lots. =)

God be my strength...

It is the holidays

2009-11-21T11:41:00.002+08:00

Today is the first day of the Nov-Dec holidays and it is something good to know. Phew! One tiring year has finally passed but I must say that I learnt a lot.

I've been more organised as a person this year, meeting more deadlines and handling more responsibilities. In a way, you can call that adaptability. Not much of a choice, and that is what forces me to be out of my comfort zone and pick up whatever is expected of me to rise to different occasions.

In the past, I believed in being specialised in an area of responsibility and doing it well. Now, I still would prefer that but many times, circumstances do not allow a smooth sailing life. That is why changes come into place and that is the only constant.

After 11 months of a lot of changes, it is now time to take a break. Come early December, we'll be taking a short trip overseas and hope to unwind totally. That is something good about going overseas. Seeing different things and being infused into another culture altogether, it just takes you out of the 'pressure cooker' here.

My thoughts are rather scattered, guess I'm not exactly sure what to write. Oh well, till the next time, I will update you with my trip. =))))))))))

God be my strength...

ALPHA outing

2009-05-10T09:16:00.003+08:00

Matthew and I have been involved in ALPHA this term and yesterday we went to Sungei Buloh Wetlands Reserve with the group for a walk. It was a nice day, considering that it rained heavily in the early morning. The air was cool and sun not too hot. =) How I wish I could share the pictures with you, but it couldn't be uploaded. Hmm.....

God be my strength...

TEACHING

2009-05-09T00:14:00.002+08:00

Teaching can really be a very draining job.
Whoever is in it need constant encouragement, care and a listening ear.
Somehow, I realise that most of the time, the concern that teachers give often fall on deaf ears and unmotivated spirits.
I'm ever so tempted to compare the pupils of the present day to that of the past.

Present day:
- Finds chance to argue back at teacher
- Show attitude in class when the subject is not appealing
- Scold vulgarities as if there's no consequences
- Shout, not talk
- Turn the head around / look around for opportunities to talk / disturb others at the slightest distraction
- Can't keep still for even a minute without talking
- Fight / play harmful pranks on others
- Handing in homework that is incomplete because it is 'too difficult'
- ...

In the past:
- Not even dare to argue back when being hit on the hand by a ruler for misbehaving
- Play harmless pranks on friends
- Disturb prefects on duty during recesses
- Do whatever homework is given, even if it means burning midnight oil
- Commit to memory every word the teacher says
- Be quiet when the teacher starts to show some irritation with the class
- Would rather carry a heavy bag to school than to be scolded for not bringing what was supposed to

I guess we were much more submissive then. It suddenly struck me that the situation nowadays, to the teacher, is unrequited. I was just watching TCS drama on School Daze, about a notorious class of pupils who jeered at Chen Han Wei when he said that day was the last day of school for him. He told them very seriously that those who want to create trouble and not learn, to not to influence the others who want to learn. He said that this group of pupils would be the ones who would be shortchangng themselves the most. He also mentioned that that day would be the last day where the class would b listening to him, so they better listen up. He said to all his pupils that from that day onwards, the school and pupils have lost one teacher to motivate them.

I was tearing mann... I mean, what heartwarming words were uttered! I felt that was my convictions too, and whether or not the pupils listen to those words, they are really planning for their own future.

Im too tired to continue. Will type another day. So tired!

God be my strength...

A stressed out week

2009-04-02T16:34:00.002+08:00

Since the start of this term, I've been stricter than ever before with my class, but I find that no matter what, kids nowadays are very street-smart. They seem to know what matters and what just can't be helped. Noise is an integral part of my life. Hmm, not sure if it's good to put it this way.

Held them back for 10 minutes today just because they would not shut their mouths and stand in straight lines. Where's the sense of discipline? In the midst of standing, still fiddle with things, touch people, play pranks... It happens! I really hope the class starts to learn to listen. If not, it would really mean trouble for them when they get to higher education.

Being outspoken isn't wrong, but there still needs a time for it.

God be my strength...

My Life

2009-04-01T21:05:00.002+08:00

I started teaching in my new school just 4 months ago. Transferred from where I was previously at Fengshan. I really missed the place, the colleagues, the pupils, the food... In fact, everything. Till this day, somehow the thought that I left the place still brings tears to my eyes. I guess I feel very attached to the place and people. There were people who touched my heart, people who comforted me in times of need and despair, and gave me joy and laughter through my journey from a trainee teacher, a beginning teacher and an experienced teacher. I'm still learning, of course.

Just 4 months ago, I wedded my husband, Matthew, and reside in the northeast of Singapore. As such, I had to apply for a transfer of school in August last year. I applied for open posting. It was such a trecherous process for me as I didn't in the first place want to ask for one. But I figured that I needed and had to because it was too far for me to travel to and fro. It would affect my teaching quality too.

The chance came when my current school asked me for an interview. I was told that I was the first interviewee! Intervewed for 40 minutes and the school called 2-3 weeks later to ask if I was still willing to consider going over. I agreed without hesitation. Somehow, I seem to have this knack of interviews. All my interviews, by God's grace, have been successful at the first time. I believe that God wants me here for reason.

Though it's not been a very smooth journey at the start, I'm probably still adapting to the different way things are run. Okie, can't type much. Just updating a little here and there. Gotta complete the setting of my Science SA1 paper.

Till then! I'll try to make it a point to blog. Heh heh heh! ^^

God be my strength...

The Blackout

2009-04-01T20:57:00.002+08:00

Well, alot has happened in the 14 months of absence. I've not blogged for the past so many months. Hahaha..... Lots of updates.

One thing I would like to share is the blackout at my house for the past 3 weeks! Can you imagine 3 weeks without lights for half the house?! In today's context, it would be quite unheard of. In fact, a church friend of mine, who is an interior designer, said that never in her years of experience did she hear of such a blackout in the house.

It started when we kept hearing flickering of lights in the house, especially that of the hall, passagwway as well as both smaller rooms. Then, 3 weeks ago, they just died. Like that. So MAtthew and I have been having our very own customised Earth Hour for 3 weeks!! Haha, I think it's more like Earth Month. =) Our electricity bills went down a few tens of dollars! We were pretty shocked but pleasantly surprised!

We hope that this inconvenience will be resolved soon. Funny as it seems, we really hope and pray for the best. Finding out the cause by getting electricians to do checks and with the possibility of hacking the walls to track the root cause would be too costly!

Pray pray pray.....

Chinese New Year

2008-02-06T13:59:00.000+08:00

It's been some time since I've typed blog. But would like to share about my meeting up with the secondary school pupils after Chinese New Year celebrations in school today. I'm really glad to have seen my ex-pupils from 5G and 5D three years ago as well as pupils from 5F two years ago. THough I wasn't their form teacher in P6, I really enjoyed the times with them and today was a good time of catching up. =)

Chian Hui and Rasheed contacted me and from there, I realised that they were not allowed to enter school premises. So I met the secondary pupils by the school gate. Wow, what a sight! Even Ms Xu, Mr Kong and Ms Tan were there! Most of the 5F pupils came back and they have really grown! That's good, and some are even in the same class now.

I was really very pleasantly surprised to see JOE! ^^ I almost teared when I saw him. He was once the most notorious boy from my 5G class 3 years ago, and gave me much of a headache. Of course, we managed to right the wrong things and he's changed for the better before going up to P6. I was very touched that he came back to school to look for 2 teachers who impacted him. He told me that I was one of them andit warmed my heart. He's from the very first class I took, and throughout the 6 months, I've been trying to change their attitudes and reach out to the class. I'm glad the efforts paid off. Thank God because it's with so much of prayer that gave me courage to face the class daily. We had a good chat, and it's good that he's doing well now. He promised that this year, he would study hard to get into the Express stream, and it was very heartening.

I was very encouraged seeing my ex-pupils again and again. WHen I feel down and aimless, their presence bring me hope that, yes, it's not too late or too upsetting to cause a change. =)

After the catching up session, I went back home. Waiting awhile more before going aunt's house for reunion dinner.

God be my strength...

Meaningful Song

2007-09-28T20:53:00.000+08:00

Teachers Network sent me an email with the following song lyrics that I found so meaningful. Here are the lyrics.
The video can be found at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiTaDJ9E1I0

Children Will Listen

How do you say to your child in the night
Nothing is all black but then nothing is all white?
How do you say it will all be all right
When you know that it mightn’t be true?
What do you do?

Careful the things you say,
Children will listen.
Careful the things you do,
Children will see.
And learn.
Children may not obey,
But children will listen.
Children will look to you
For which way to turn,
To learn what to be.
Careful before you say,
"listen to me."
Children will listen.

Careful the wish you make,
Wishes are children.
Careful the path they take,
Wishes come true,
Not free.
Careful the spell you cast,
Not just on children.
Sometimes the spell may last
Past what you can see
And turn against you...

Careful the tale you tell.
That is the spell.
Children will listen...

How can you say to a child who’s in flight,
Don’t slip away and I won’t hold so tight?
What can you say that no matter how slight won’t be misunderstood?
What do you leave to your child when you’re dead
Only what ever you put in its head
Things that your mother and father had said
Which were left to them too.
Careful what you say, children will listen
Careful you do it too, children will see and learn.
Oh!

Guide them but step away,
Children will glisten.
Temper with what is true
And children will turn,
If just to be free.
Careful before you say,
"listen to me."
Children will listen...
Children will listen!
Children, children will listen

God be my strength...

Water babies and Maths Haven

2007-09-20T23:15:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I saw Ling Ying looking cross in the staff room and asked her what happened. She was carrying some things in plastic bags into the teachers' lounge. She replied that some boys brought some water babies to school. These water babies are seedlike objects that look like the seeds of lady's finger. When immersed in water, it absorbs water and expends. From one water baby, it will become 2, and 4 and 8 and so on! So the growth is rather fast! One thing about water babies is that when it expends, it becomes very translucent, and though they can be found in different colours, there are some that are white in colour! To the extent that they cannot be seen when put in water!

One of the boys who brought it to school put a water baby into his friend's water bottle in order to sabo his friend. His friend drank the water containing the water baby. Fortunately this boy saw it in his bottle and alerted Ling Ying. That was how Ling Ying found out about over 5 other boys who were also playing with water babies in class with their water bottles.

Well, with a water baby in a person's body, you never know what it would do to you!

I went home and warned my family about it.

Today, Ravinder warned the school that water baby is banned from school.. It drew smiles from those who have heard it for the first time. Even to me, I smiled, as the name sounded so kiddy and so funny!

Took the chance to tell my class about it, and cautioned them to be careful of what they are drinking, and never to play such pranks on others. The class was dismissed after that.

At 3.30pm, Yuxi, De Xuan, Hui Juan, Junli, Jun Zhi, Bin Wei, Nigel and Rachel were tending to the Maths Haven and I happened to be coming down from supplementary with 4D pupils. I went to the Maths Haven to take a look and realised that they were struggling with handling the pupils. The games were borrowed out but returned in bad condition. The pupils who played the games did not keep the pieces properly and there were spoilt pieces amongst the games. The 8 of them were upset, and I told them to close Maths Haven for the day and repack the boxes of Rush Hour. This took us 2 hours, and we were finished at 5.30pm. To reward them of their hard work (they really did this voluntarily, so nice of them, yea?), I got them a mix 100plus and ice lemon tea drinks from the canteen. The funny thing is that the boys straight away linked this to water baby and feigned tummy pains while drinking the 100plus and ice lemon tea. Somehow they have a way of tickling hearts.

Anyway, in the end, we all felt a sense of accomplishment when we managed to pack the games (9 sets in all) into 8 complete sets, with a few remaining from the 9th set that was incomplete.

Packing will carry on tomorrow and next week, I presume.

Oh yes, a picture of water babies, taken from a bottle in the staff room: looks like this!! Take a good look ya?!

God be my strength...

Nose allergy

2007-08-28T11:53:00.000+08:00

I'm on MC today, given that I had a bad allergy yesterday at Spark C camp. Sigh... something that I was looking forward to for so many weeks, especially when today the kids will be going to Pulau Ubin for a hike. Hmm... Allergy was so bad that my nose kept flowing from morning to night and was sneezing all the time. Used up 3 packets of tissue and it was horrible. Worst thing is that I knew I wasn't sick, but it's purely allergy to dust.
Saw a doctor just in case I needed MC today (which I took) and she couldnt' offer me a way of curing this too. So I decided to search on the internet to see if there were any ways of preventive measure. Here's what I've found...

How to avoid nose allergies: http://www.entusa.com/prevention.htm
House Dust Mites:
*Avoid overstuffed furniture, shelves, and other dusty surfaces.
*Minimize use of rugs; bare wood or tile floors are best.
*Vacuum away from people who have allergies to help them avoid dust inhalation.
*Correctly ventilate your home.
*Maintain heating system, and change filters regularly.
*Keep all clothes in closed closets; keep wool clothing in plastic bags.
*Use washable, synthetic blankets and pillows, and wash bedding frequently.
*Wash bed sheets and pillow cases weekly in hot water (130 deg F)
*Reduce indoor humidity to less than50%
*Cover mattress with aired-out plastic.
*Vigorously clean inside, consider using benzyl benzoate or tannic acid to cleanse. These can be dangerous chemicals and must be used properly or by a professional cleaner.

Molds:
*Avoid fresh cut grass.
*Us air conditioner on indoor cycle (for outdoor molds and pollens.) .
*Avoid "hot spots" of mold growth or mold concentration:
--live plants, dried plants, flowers
--basements, closets, bathrooms, shower stalls
--clothes dryers, air conditioners, humidifiers
--upholstered furniture
--garbage pails.

*Reduce humidity to 50%, which is conducive to dust mite growth and molds; avoid using belt- type humidifiers.
*Use a HEPA filter.
Other Measures:
*Avoid contact with pets. Do not sleep with your pets, keep pets out side.
*Avoid tobacco smoke.
*Use and store chemicals wisely.

http://www.billingsotolaryngology.com/Nose.htm When to See a Doctor
Because the symptoms of sinusitis sometimes mimic those of colds and allergies, you may not realize you need to see a doctor. If you suspect you have sinusitis, review these signs and symptoms. If you suffer from three or more, you should see your doctor.
Sign/Symptom Sinusitis Allergy Cold
Facial Pressure/Pain Yes Sometimes Sometimes
Duration of Illness Over 10-14 days Varies Under 10 days
Nasal Discharge Thick, yellow, green Clear, thin, watery Thick, whitish or thin
Fever Sometimes No Sometimes
Headache Sometimes Sometimes Sometimes
Pain in Upper Teeth Sometimes No No
Bad Breath Sometimes No No
Coughing Sometimes Sometimes Yes
Nasal Congestions Yes Sometimes Yes
Sneezing No Sometimes Yes
Allergies
Allergies are caused by the body’s immune system overreacting to an allergen that has been touched, inhaled, or eaten, causing irritation. Allergens can be almost anything but is most often caused by pollens, plant particles, mold spores, animal dander, and dust. Many allergy sufferers think their symptoms are cold related but it is actually allergic rhinitis. Allergic Rhinitis is often called hay fever, misnamed in the 1800’s after doctors saw so many farmers and rural residents with the same symptoms. An allergy sufferer’s range of reactions may be sneezing, runny nose, itchy throat, and watery eyes, which is the body’s best way to flush out allergens.
The worst time for allergy sufferers is often late spring and summer when the plant pollens are being released. After the first frost allergy sufferers should be more aware of indoor allergens. Dust, pet dander, damp moist rooms, wet soil in potted plants, and even humidifiers may all contribute.
Treatment for allergies includes tests to determine the source(s) of allergies and assessment of relief management. Some medications include anti-histamines, decongestants, steroids or immunotherapy. http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/common/allergies/basics/083.html

Allergies: Things You Can Do to Control Your Symptoms
What causes allergies?
You have an allergy when your body overreacts to things that don't cause problems for most people. These things are called allergens. Your body's overreaction to the allergens is what causes symptoms (see the box below for a list of symptoms). For example, sometimes the term "hay fever" is used to describe your body's allergic reaction to seasonal allergens in the air, such as grass or pollen.

Your doctor may want to do an allergy skin test to help determine exactly what is causing your allergy. An allergy skin test puts tiny amounts of allergens onto your skin to see which ones you react to. Once you know which allergens you are allergic to, you and your doctor can decide the best treatment. Your doctor may also decide to do a blood test, such as the radioallergosorbent test (called RAST).
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Common Allergy Symptoms:
• Runny nose
• Watery eyes
• Itchy nose, eyes and roof of mouth
• Sneezing
• Stuffy nose
• Pressure in the nose and cheeks
• Ear fullness and popping
• Dark circles under the eyes
• Hives

What are the most common allergens?
Pollen from trees, grass and weeds. Allergies that occur in the spring (late April and May) are often due to tree pollen. Allergies that occur in the summer (late May to mid-July) are often due to grass and weed pollen. Allergies that occur in the fall (late August to the first frost) are often due to ragweed.

Mold. Mold is common where water tends to collect, such as shower curtains, window moldings and damp basements. It can also be found in rotting logs, hay, mulches, commercial peat moss, compost piles and leaf litter. This allergy is usually worse during humid and rainy weather.

Animal dander. Proteins found in the skin, saliva, and urine of furry pets such as cats and dogs are allergens. You can be exposed to dander when handling an animal or from house dust that contains dander.

Dust. Many allergens, including dust mites, are in dust. Dust mites are tiny living creatures found in bedding, mattresses, carpeting and upholstered furniture. They live on dead skin cells and other things found in house dust.
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Things that can make your allergy symptoms worse
• Aerosol sprays
• Air pollution
• Cold temperatures
• Humidity
• Irritating fumes
• Tobacco smoke
• Wind
• Wood smoke

How can I avoid allergens?
Pollens. Shower or bathe before bedtime to wash off pollen and other allergens in your hair and on your skin. Avoid going outside, especially on dry, windy days. Keep windows and doors shut, and use an air conditioner at home and in your car.

Mold. You can reduce the amount of mold in your home by removing houseplants and by frequently cleaning shower curtains, bathroom windows, damp walls, areas with dry rot and indoor trash cans. Use a mix of water and chlorine bleach to kill mold. Open doors and windows and use fans to increase air movement and help prevent mold.

Don't carpet bathrooms or other damp rooms and use mold-proof paint instead of wallpaper. Reducing the humidity in your home to 50% or less can also help. You can control your home air quality by using a dehumidifier, keeping the temperature set at 70 degrees, and cleaning or replacing small-particle filters in your central air system.

Pet dander. If your allergies are severe, you may need to give your pets away or at least keep them outside. Cat or dog dander often collects in house dust and takes 4 weeks or more to die down.

However, there are ways to reduce the amounts of pet dander in your home. Using allergen-resistant bedding, bathing your pet frequently, and using an air filter can help reduce pet dander. Ask your veterinarian for other ways to reduce pet dander in your home.

Dust and dust mites. To reduce dust mites in your home, remove drapes, feather pillows, upholstered furniture, non-washable comforters and soft toys. Replace carpets with linoleum or wood. Polished floors are best. Mop the floor often with a damp mop and wipe surfaces with a damp cloth. Vacuum regularly with a machine that has a high-efficiency particulate air filter. Vacuum soft furniture and curtains as well as floors. Install an air cleaner with a high-efficiency particulate or electrostatic filter. Wash carpets and upholstery with special cleaners, such as benzyl benzoate or tannic acid spray. Wash all bedding in hot water (hotter than 130°F) every 7 to 10 days. Don't use mattress pads. Cover mattress and pillows with plastic covers. Lower the humidity in your home.
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What medicines can I take to help relieve my symptoms?
Antihistamines help reduce the sneezing, runny nose and itchiness of allergies. They're more useful if you use them before you're exposed to allergens.

Some antihistamines can cause drowsiness and dry mouth. Others are less likely to cause these side effects, but some of these require a prescription. Ask your doctor which kind is best for you.

Decongestants, such as pseudoephedrine and phenylephrine help temporarily relieve the stuffy nose of allergies. Decongestants are found in many medicines and come as pills, nose sprays and nose drops. They are best used only for a short time. Nose sprays and drops shouldn't be used for more than 3 days because you can become dependent on them. This causes you to feel even more stopped-up when you try to quit using them.

You can buy decongestants without a doctor's prescription. However, decongestants can raise your blood pressure, so it's a good idea to talk to your family doctor before using them, especially if you have high blood pressure.

Cromolyn sodium is a nasal spray that helps prevent the body's reaction to allergens. Cromolyn sodium is more helpful if you use it before you're exposed to allergens. This medicine may take 2 to 4 weeks to start working. It is available without a prescription.

Nasal steroid sprays reduce the reaction of the nasal tissues to inhaled allergens. This helps relieve the swelling in your nose so that you feel less stopped-up. They come in nasal sprays that your doctor may prescribe. You won't notice their benefits for up to 2 weeks after starting them.

Your doctor may prescribe steroid pills for a short time or give you a steroid shot if your symptoms are severe or if other medicines aren't working for you.

Eye drops. If your other medicines are not helping enough with your itchy, watery eyes, your doctor may prescribe eye drops for you.
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What are allergy shots?
Allergy shots (also called immunotherapy) contain small amounts of allergens. They're given on a regular schedule so that your body gets used to the allergens and no longer overreacts to them.

Allergy shots are only used when the allergens you're sensitive to can be identified and when you can't avoid them. It takes a few months to years to finish treatment, and you may need to have treatments throughout your life.

The last thing I wish to have is to catch an allergy on my wedding. Uh oh, that would be very bad because I can't think straight, and would be so so weak from the blowing and sneezing. Maybe I should request that guests do not put on any scents for that day.
God be my strength...

Collection of keys

2007-08-14T21:03:00.000+08:00

Just last Friday, Matthew and I went down to HDB to collect our flat keys. So glad about it because it is something that we've been waiting for so long already. =) Yay!

God be my strength...

Test of Trust

2007-08-08T22:32:00.000+08:00

Approximately 2 months ago, Matthew and I had an idea of getting the YAs over this National Day and spend a day together catching up and engaging in activities. So, we went ahead to discuss and thought that why not open up his house swimming pool and we can all swim there, have dinner (and a movie thereafter, planned at a later date). The initial response over 2 days ballooned from just an email sent by myself to 16 in all! Most responses were positive and wanted to be counted in. As it was quite early at that time, we all decided to put in the time details when the date was nearing.
I confirmed the details with the group last Friday over email. This time, the group that replied remained very quiet with only 3-4 of them responding that they might not be able to make it due to last minute events that cropped up. At least they gave an accountability. About 70% of them did not.
It was not until last night when one from the group asked me if the gathering was still on. When I told him that the response wasn't good, he asked if I would want to go to Mr A's housewarming instead with Matthew. Huh? I thought Mr A told me that he's interested in this 9th August meet up as well? Why the sudden change in plans? Didn't bother to even tell the organisers? HELLO! Are we transparent?!
Fortunately there was 2 of them who said they would come for the movie, plus another 2. Matthew and I felt a little comforted though. But.... after less than 24 hours after the confirmation, things changed again! HUH! One out of the 2 who initially wanted to watch the movie pulled out, plus a couple of add ins, and pull outs again. In the end, 8 people are going to watch the movie, Matthew and I, Mr B and his friend, Me C and his friend (hey, I don't even know Mr C) and Ms D and her friend. Doesn't this whole thing look like a big joke? I feel like a damn fool! Who's organising? Huh? Now I've got to ask for movie time and gathering time.

Planning and emailing and praying for good weather, replying here and there, saying the outing is on, then off, then on... etc. I'm so confused. People, when you are invited to some occasion, please reply to the organisers lah! Don't make things only easy for yourself and create a headache for the organisers. It may seem very 'easy' planning, but it's even easier to click the 'reply' button and say 'I cannot make it'. I'm such a complete fool!

Well, I just want to say that it will take me a very long time to plan the next gathering, if there's any in the first place.

I got to get that anger out of me, cause it's infuriating. Will I ever trust these people whom I invited in the first place? To run and plan our wedding? Hmm.. Now I have doubts. What if they pull out at the very last minute because 'someone has a housewarming on your wedding'? Xiao4 liao4.... that cannot possibly happen!

I'd call this a test of trust. Can I trust them? Hah! How hurting a sliences or even taking inappropriate initiatives can get.

God be my strength...

Donate blood on your birthday

2007-07-19T20:13:00.000+08:00

S'pore Red Cross to get people to donate blood on their birthday
By Hoe Yeen Nie, Channel NewsAsia | Posted: 19 July 2007 1848 hrs

SINGAPORE: The Singapore Red Cross Society will launch a new programme next month to get people to donate blood on the one day they will remember -- their birthday.

With this latest initiative, it hopes to expand its pool of voluntary donors.

This means it does not have to rely on replacement donors to sustain its supply of blood.

The safest blood supply comes from voluntary, unpaid donors.

According to the World Health Organisation, this group of donors has the lowest risk of blood-borne diseases.

It is for this reason that the Singapore Red Cross does not advocate the practice of replacement donations.

Replacement donations happen when a patient receives blood transfusion and family members are asked to replace the blood supply.

Cecilia Tan, Director of Blood Donor Recruitment Programme, Singapore Red Cross Society, said: "A lot of time, hospitals try to help the blood bank to replace its stock, so hospital staff will encourage relatives to come to the blood bank to give blood, since their relative has already received blood.

"This is a good intention. It is not meant for them to pay a blood debt. There is no such thing as a blood debt.

"Even when relatives come into the blood bank to give blood, saying that 'I'm giving my blood back to so-and-so', the staff at the blood bank will explain that there is no need to do so," she added.

Blood that is donated at the Health Sciences Authority is tested for infectious diseases like Hepatitis B, C, HIV and syphilis as part of the process to ensure the safety of the blood supply.

But the Red Cross notes that when a person is under pressure to give blood, he may withhold information about himself - his health or his social history - so as not to jeopardise his chance to donate.

Unsuitable candidates may also feel compelled to donate for fear that their family member will not be able to receive a transfusion.

Another reason is that the national blood programme relies on a pool of voluntary donors who give blood on a regular basis.

This ensures there is a constant and reliable supply of safe blood to meet the nation's needs.

But with only less than three percent of eligible Singaporeans giving blood regularly, the Red Cross says there is a need to increase that number.

Hence its latest initiative - a programme to get people to donate blood on their birthday.

Ms Tan said: "We are launching this birthday programme in August, in line with the birthday of the nation. And we hope to recruit 20,000 more new donors who can or will sign up to this birthday programme pledge to give one unit of blood on their birthday." - CNA/ir

God be my strength...

Look alikes.... yikes!

2007-06-28T20:52:00.000+08:00

How did I ever look alike to a guy? I got guy features meh? Yiiiiikes!

God be my strength...

Blood donation

2007-06-21T22:34:00.000+08:00

A surge of excitement came over me as the thought of donating blood came to mind. Wheezed out of 4F, wheezed out of school, wheezed out of the MRT and plonked onto the armchair at Bloodbank, HSA! I passed, very happily, speaking of the iron test (something that was a challenge to pass). Not that I have been purposely taking multivitamins, but really, I think the holidays have helped much. =)
Happily donated blood, 400ml, and now resting at home.
Ahhh....... so shiok!
Won't type about day 2 of Japan today. Going to rest first. Hee!

Well, one thing that motivated me to donate today was that looking at the blood stocks online, O+ had a demand. If O+ has got a demand, means bad news already. Stocks are low! So, if I'm well and due for a donation, why not travel down to donate? There may be someone out there who's crying for a blood tansfusion. Doesn't matter if you know this person or not, what's important is that a life is at stake. It doesn't take a loss or nearly a loss of a loved one to realise this simple understanding, right?

Every packet of blood that has been donated is a precious gift of life. Through all these years of kaypoing and searching other countries' blood bank websites, I found that blood is very much in demand all over the world. Many people who are eligible to donate are not donating because of various reasons. For example, I happened to see one website from a state in India, the highest stock, which was A+, was only at 22 bags! Isn't it alarming? As for the rheses negative blood types, A-, B-, they had none! One bag for O-, which seemed worrying! Meaning, no one is donating? Then what if someone needed that packet of negative blood urgently? Have to leave to die? I mean, this is not a play play matter. Just because stocks are low, someone had to die. But that someone need not have died. Aww. I was kinda shocked at the rate.

I didn't mean to type this much about blood, just the first paragraph. Yet everytime I do a donation, I will ask myself why I'm doing it, and it's a constant reminder that, yes, out there in the world, there is someone who needs that packet of blood to live on. Even if no one needs it, and the packet of blood outlives its due date and is thrown away, isn't it supposed to be something good? Surplus is never an issue. Do think about it.

God be my strength...

Japan

2007-06-20T21:43:00.000+08:00

Have been wanting to type down the experience in Japan for the past week already but have been doing quite a bit of things since coming back. So until now, did I have the time. Oh well. I'll just start with the first 2 days of Japan. =)

On day 1 of Japan, we woke up at 4.30am and got ready to go to the airport. Which airport? Of course, Changi Airport. Singapore has got only 1 airport. DUH! We took about an hour to get ready, and prayed before leaving the house. Well, on our way out, at the same time, we saw Ali and his brother also carrying luggages! Haha... we then thought that perhaps we were all going to the same place. Ali's my neighbour. Anyway, I didn't think so. We didn't meet at the lift level, so didn't get to talk. We got to the airport in 2 taxis because of the 5 of us, and went to Terminal 1. The same nice feeling of going to the airport greeted me. I've always liked the airport. Somehow it's a very warm feeling, and a place where I take much pride in. =)

I met Cindy Oo and Rachel, my NIE mates at the airport and realised that they were also going to Japan. Just that their flight was 15 minutes earlier. So we could not have been on the same trip. We started looking around for the tour leader, Mr Ang, but he didn't seem anywhere in sight. Mum was upset because he promised to be at the airport at 6.30am but was nowhere in sight around 6.20am. Haha, guess we were kinda kiasu. I told her, nevermind lah, still early. Maybe he got to settle some things?

About 6.35am, Mr Ang came and told us to go check in our luggages. We then brought out luggages to the check-in counter and got them checked in. After that, I felt hungry, and so wanted to go to BK, which was downstairs to get a burger. Then, I realised that breakfast would be served on the plane, so went to NTUC instead where the buses were with brother and sister to get Collon biscuits. After that we were munching away with the things we bought.

At around 7.10am, I was going to the toilet, and coincidentally, saw Sarah and her husband, Vincent. They were going to Thailand and looked really happy about it. =) Went to Changi Kopitiam for light snacks with family, and then, saw yet another person! Hahaha.... Fengshan moved to Changi! Saw Asha and her family going to Australia. They looked refreshed and happy too! Great! I was happy for them all. Finally after half a year of madness in school, we could all have a break.

It was about 7.45am when we realised we had better went to board the plane. All the passengers were there already and we had better be. Sis could not get through the passport checks (something wrong with thumbprint), and something else. Didn't remember already. We didn't have time to get anything duty free because of time constraint. Anyway we were cruising our way to the gate. Sis couldn't get through the checks too, don't know why. Dad got checked at random. Hee!

Finally got up the plane. Each of us took a Straits Times to read. So kiasu! Haa... My seat was 35E, I think. Middle seating. Plane took off at 8.26am, 4 minutes earlier than scheduled.

It was a 6 hour 45 minute journey all the way to Narita Airport, and from there we had to transit in to Osaka Airport to get to our destination. That took us 1 hour flight. By the end of the second flight, we were all tired out. I felt like floating! Got out of the airport and wow! We were greeted with a very cool strand of breeze. So nice, I never felt that before. It was as if this wind were never recycled and came directly from the mountains! WAH!!!! Then we went up the bus. Mr Ang started introducing himself and Steven Kwa, who was the tour guide. As we were listening to them, many of us realised that the bus seemed to be travelling up and down the same street. Two times, three times... hmm! Hey, this guy got lost lah! Steven said sorry to us on the driver's behalf (as the driver was not familiar with the Osaka Roads. He's from Tokyo.) Ang said it would not happen again. Aha, but then, it happened! Instead of driving us to where we were supposed to have dinner, he drove us to the hotel! Wah piang! We were tired, hungry (had lunch at 10am, Singapore time) and irritated. This time Steven told us that drinks are on him. The children on the bus were angry and because they were children, they could not hide their frustruation. They say 'Wah, very hungry leh. Later die how? Must cook maggi mee already ah. Heng heng we brought maggi mee. Just nice, 5 packets for my whole family, each one take one!' Everyone laughed on the bus and this broke the ice. We got to the little Chinese restaurant after 1 hour of finding our way. The food was very blend and not nice. I didn't bother to eat, finished the rice, took eggs and soup, that's all. The rest were yucks! The rest seemed to like the food though. I was wondering why both tour guides weren't eating. Haaa, maybe they knew the food wasn't nice!

After dinner, we went to the hotel to rest. I didn't have peace when I entered the room. The room number was 410, next to the 'Exit' and after a long passageway. It looked creepy. I kept having scenes of horror while bathing, not knowing why. Maybe it's a 'dirty' place. Anyway, I prayed before sleeping.

This is the first day of Japan.

Outside Osaka Airport, where cool breeze greeted us.

The place where we ate dinner, not very nice. Hmm.....

The hotel room that gave me the spooks.

God be my strength...

Japan Trip (06 06 07 - 12 06 07)

2007-06-12T20:45:00.000+08:00

It's been a refreshing week of holidaying to Japan with my family. Wow, if you give me one word to describe. Haha... Well, I'm not exactly in a mood to type anything now, because am suffering from quite bad jet lag. Maybe I'll just show some pictures. =) Wah, having bad headache and no appetite for food at all. Feels like vomitting. Very sickly! Urgh! How to donate blood??

God be my strength...

Holidays

2007-05-29T21:53:00.000+08:00

Can't believe that the holidays are here already. There's so much to be done, hee! Yesterday had a nice day at Alexandra Hospital. Well, it's almost Alexandra Hotel! Really high class and of standard. Went there as part of a learning journey with my colleagues. We heard from the CEO himself who shared his vision of the hospital when it was in draps. Now it's almost world class and the staff are still continuing to learn to be better. How inspiring to be in such an environment.

Though he is a very direct person, this CEO really knows what he wants out of his job. Sets very clear KPIs and achieve them conscientiously. Wow, really made me respect him.

Well, perhaps if one day you happen to be free, do take a look around AH and you would know what I'm talking about. =)

God be my strength...

Sebastian Boy

2007-05-27T01:12:00.000+08:00

Sebastian has passed away after 2.5 years. Saw him grow up when he was just a baby hamster. That time, Sarah asked me if I wanted a hamster and gave him to me. I was so happy and went to get him a cage as well as some food the very next day. Oh yes, Julie, my colleague helped me bring Sebastian home for a day to feed it and bathe it. So nice of her!! She even taught me how to take care of him.

Sebastian seemed very cautious of all of us when he first came into the house. Mum screamed when she saw Sebastian. HMm. But over the months, she's come to like him. She would also talk to him and smile at him. He ah, really has a way of melting people's hearts. Aww..

Sebastian is just so cute!

Then there was a period of time he ate so much that he got very fat. Still cute! Very active too, and keep on running on the hamster wheel. He would run through the night, as if his regular regime to keep fit. Yes, he was healthy. Really. More healthy than a lot of us, because he eats healthily too!

Whenever he runs on the wheel, he would pause awhile to look at me, or anyone else who's around, seemingly to get our attention or approval before continuing his run. This was something I like about him that melted my heart.

Recently over the last 7-8 months, he seemed to be losing strength significantly and has not been really exercising. We reconed that he was getting old and was poor in health. Yes, he was. Subsequently he developed cateracts in both his eyes, and there were white specks covering them. Apart from his apparent blindness, he could have been deaf and mute too. He had not uttered a squeak in his life, and his ear seemed to be bleeding every now and then. Soon later, his eyes began to get some infection. Swelling came up and he had swollen eyes for the rest of his life. His fur too, started to fall off. Little by little, till at the final stage, he had no more fur at his bottom and patches of his body. We all felt very sorry for him.

Towards his final days, we dared not touch him because he had diahorrea and he had incontenince too. Imagine everything coming on him. Really poor thing. At times, I prayed for him to be well. At other times, I prayed that he quickly die a peaceful death and be rid of the pain he's suffering. The last time I touched him was on Wednesday night. Washed his sai off him in the toilet basin. He seemed to be struggling and trying to get away from the water, and I was trying to clean him bottom. I was rather heart wrenching to look at a hamster which had shrunk to a size same as when he first came to my house.

Today, 27 May 2007, at 12am, when I was getting ready to bathe him and clean his cage, I realised that he was not breathing anymore. He was dead. I was so surprised I let out an inappropriate emotion. I laughed! Guess it was out of shock, but how else could I react. Cry? Surprisingly I wasn't sad or anything, but perhaps glad that he needn't go through anymore pain in life.

I wrapped him and the cage in a big plastic bag and brought him downstairs with dad as it was really late already.

He had been a joy to my life. Really hoped that he could be here once again, well and healthy.

God be my strength...

At times, people are just irritating

2007-04-05T01:44:00.001+08:00

Maybe it's the stress, of course everyone in this world is feeling it too. Lately there's been some clashes between us. Don't know why also. So many that I need an outlet to let out some hot air. Maybe it's my problem too. But really, I wasn't even in the wrong! Please lah, you wanna arrow me, say so lah. Don't need to go one big round and let the whole world know right? Just can't stand it. People are also watching, looking at how you react, and how I react. Show some self respect. By shouting, it cannot solve anything. Please lah. Voice loud so what?! You think I scared?
Maybe I'm partly responsible, but how? And for what? I don't know. Please chack before saying anything against me, or the people around me. It's hurtful. You have any doubts, can ask right? I don't see the point of having to rant everything out, and in the end still not be able to find a solution to the problem. Hiyah! It just got me so upset and for goodness sake, if anyone can tahan a little here and there, I'm sure so can you.
This is not about being provided for or what, but a matter of how seriously you take things. I don't see that a problem in you last year or the year before etc. Why the sudden change in tone? I don't owe you anything in the first place! Don't take me for granted. I've got a limit to patience too. You may be going through a bad patch but you are not the only one. Many people out there in the world are too. Stop being a baby. How I wish I could just say it all out, but that would be too hurtful to hear. I'd rather not.
Don't force me to, I'm only human. It's just so tough to love others.
Don't you think so?
Goodnight. I don't want to talk about it anymore.
Still trying to learn to love others.
Well, everyone's different. That's challenging enough.

God be my strength...

Dull n interesting moments

2007-03-23T21:46:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I fell ill again. Arrgh! Instead of watching Mr Bean's Holiday, I had to go home at 5.30pm because whole body was aching, and I felt cold (though sometimes hot) with a slight cold. If I had gone out, I would have caught fever by that night. In the end, I slept at 8.30pm and woke up at 6.30pm. 10 solid hours of sleep.

Woke up this morning contemplating whether to take MC or not. Body was still in slight 10% ache. Lots of thoughts went through my mind. If I take MC, will the kids lose out alot? Can I tahan this day with remedial till 3.30pm? Will pass germs to them? Perhaps I was getting better, because after thinking through, I didn't feel that much ache. I also made up my mind that if I were to report to school, I would cancel remedial and supplementary lessons to rest. Go home early and rest.

So I went to school. The aches left me by recess time and I functioned as normal. Good, good! In the end, I still cancelled my remedial and supplementary because I wanted to go home by 2.30pm to rest. In the end work got a little too much to handle and I left at 6.45pm. What an irony!

But managed to do alot of things. Admin and marking. Happy that Maths Haven is so nicely done up and ready to start on Monday. Did a few slides to be pasted in the cabinet and on the walls. Hope no child steals these pieces of paper. Hope the kids will like the activities there too!

God be my strength...

Course @ One-North

2007-03-12T21:04:00.000+08:00

Today and tomorrow will be 2 days of course at One-North, Bouna Vista. From 8.30-5.30pm, whole day. SInce yesterday, I had the feeling that I would screw the day up already. Indeed, the morning was a total screw up. Some moments were more funny and silly than others while some was just infuriating.

The thought of forgetting to bring home Maths textbook last night was the start already. Because school opens at 8am in the morning only (yea, I thought.... there was actually overnight camp.. so blur of me), so I had to reach school by 8am, quickly get the textbook and hail a cab to get to One-North ASAP before the course starts. On the way to school, like somewhere equidistant from home to school, I realised I had forgotten to bring staff pass to the staff room! Sheesh!!.... I literally froze at block 109, beside the mama shop, thinking whether I should take the chance to go school anyway, or to go back home to get the pass. After weighing the pros and cons, I thought it would be better and safer to go back home to take the pass. Anyway who would be in school when it just opened? And so I thought.

So I rushed back home to get the pass and this time I took bus 17 to school. Side gate not opened so no point walking again back. Bus 17 wheezed pass me and I missed it. Wah, this seemed like enacting a scene of 'A series of unfortunate events'. Read on, you'll see more to come!

Ok, got my textbook, and was really happy about it. Came down the stairs, said 'hi' to a couple of students and rushed off to flag a taxi. Wah, I thought it's really a nice day... a MERCEDES cab came by and stopped. Wah. =) That simply felt shiok!

I boarded the taxi and thr driver decided to take me in even though it read that he was going to Hougang. When I entered and he drove off, he started grumbling that he had only 30 minutes to drive me to One-North and back to Bedok South to fetch a customer. Huh!! Why complain to me? I got pissed, because why in the first place did he agree to take me? Throughout the journey he kept lamenting and saying that he's going to be late. To make things worse, the taxi company called him to ask why he was driving in the opposite direction to where he was supposed to go. Wah, taxi driver so stressed ah? In my mind, I kept asking why he wanted to fetch me leh? Hmm. Maybe he really needs the money badly. He's a careful driver but the lamenting was kind of getting on my nerves. Hey, I'm late lor. As if I would want to take cab so much meh? Especially with ERP and surcharge. ERP was $2.50 amd surcharge was $2. In the end, the driver was so stressed that as we talked, I told him to drop me at the nearest MRT where he was. He dropped me at Redhill. Very apologetic. He kept apologising. I decided to let the matter drop. Why spoil everyone's day? I didn't want to scold either, though I felt like. I remembered to be gracious to people. There are times that I need grace from others too, and it's when they least expect such grace that when we show it, it can be a good testimony. I mean, I'm doing it sincerely too. I don't mind dropping off earlier. Anyway, this One-North is so new a venue that people would be late anyway. I wasn't in a mood to go for course too, so didn't mind being late for once. Really, having course on the first day of holidays is so so not a joke. I've got 4 more days of course, what do you think? This is only the start. Hiya... but well, I had my fair share of laughter too.

Ok, so I took the MRT at Redhill. Sing songs of praise to God, and was relatively happy. I reached Bouna Vista. OK! Shouldn't be too late, it's 8.25am. Even if it's late slightly, the course wouldn't have started. I walked to around MOE headquarters. Asked a lady where One-North was. She was friendly and showed me the way. There was no traffic light and we had to stand at the divider for almost 3 minutes before the road cleared. I saw One-North, wah, really HIGH up. Umm... How to get there? The lady told me to go up a path. So I did. She left for work after that. I saw the path was leading up and up. Felt like Jack climbing the beanstalk. Haha... Saw this Malay teacher in front and decided to follow her. Well, if she's going on that path, it can't be wrong. Yay, a source of hope. Some sort! Then, she suddenly turned around and... ahem... 'Excuse me, do you know how to go to One-North?' I laughed!! Really. I said I didn't know too, and we walked together. Dunno where we were.. Just walk. Then we saw another teacher and she too was lost. So, three of us walk and walk. The 3rd lady said that one teacher saw that the only way to get up was walking up a steep slope, like 40 degrees up 20m stretch of land. That was like facing the main road. That sounded absurd to me and the malay lady. But after thinking awhile, there seems to be no other way up this ULU place. Really, One-North is disappointing, I thought... I said I would go up anyway, no choice. And I was late for workshop! It was 8.45am already, 15 minutes late. Cannot tu2 already. Tu2 anymore I become ah1 tu2 already. =) So the 3 of us climbed up that steep slope together, pull each other up like rock climber like that. Hahah..... really hilarious! All of us laughed when we reached the top. Then we explored any opening up there. Haha.... so funny! Felt like I got into a mystery story like that. We went up here and there and ended up at deadends. Saw a spa and the 3rd teacher commented, 'Aiyah, should have spa course, then I sure sign up one!' We passed a pool and the 3rd teacher commented again, 'Tomorrow come here must swim first then go for course'. The malay teacher rebutted, 'But you are not alumni how to swim here?' So funny! I just laughed.. and laughed. So ticklish. We couldn't find our way anywhere. Then we saw a 4th teacher. Hey, I recognise him. He's from the course that I'm attending today. He came for part 1 mah. The other 2 teachers with me were not attending the same course as me. He was lost too! But found a way out in the end and asked us to follow. That led to a lift and I saw MISS LEE there. Oh, Miss Lee is my primary 6 form teacher. Wah, she's still into continuous learning. One teacher I respect a lot. Gave a lot of encouragement and concern to 5E and 6E then, haha... all of us.. notorious bunch last time. I called her as we were entering the lift but she didn't seem to recognise me. I thought we could say hi in the lift but suddenly as we were entering, the lift blacked-out. Hiyo! What a day...

Really felt like I was in a very very weird dream. But this wasn't a dream. It was a freaking morning...

Course was a bore and I dozed off a few times even before the first break. Due to all that rushing here and there, I was hungry too, and stomach growled loudly a few times. Wah, so paiseh!! Opps! When it was break time, I took more food than usual and afer that felt better. Was too tired, and there wasn't any water around, so I had NO CHOICE but to take a small cup of tea. When I went toilet, I realised that there was a hidden machine. What machine???? WATER COOLER! I squealed to myself. Don't know how it happened but I somehow squealed. =) Tomorrow I would be bringing water to course and refilling it as and when I needed to drink water.

Canteen food wasn't nice and very expensive. Ate spaghetti with chicken cutlet. $4.30 leh! So expensive! It's a canteen after all, so the food is actually overpriced. People all grumbling. After lunch, I went back to the workshop room to read WUAS book. It was fascinating and I didn't feel sleepy. When lunch time was over, my group and I resumed discussion and came up with a UbD for Maths topic on Area and Perimeter. There was some conflicting ideas and 2 strong headed members who wanted their ideas heard but were COWARDLY in presenting. In the end, push to another team member. I looked away when they were pushing the piece of paper here and there. Aiyo... talk so much over discussion, asked to present shouldn't be a problem.

When the workshop ended for the day, I walked down with my group members. No, I didn't walk down the huge slope. Haha! I went by short cut now. Wah, 1 minute and we reached the main road. I looked at the slope and it was really high up. Turned to my group member and told her that I 'scaled' that mini mountain that morning. She laughed and said she did that too. Haha... we all laughed at ourselves. How silly that was!

Ok, this is the end of day 1 of course. Tomorrow will be another day. If... if we end early, and if... if, I'm well enough. Heh heh, I MAY go somewhere in Outram Park! See how first. If not no other days already. =)

God be my strength...

Strength

2007-02-28T21:44:00.000+08:00

Have been tired since falling ill last weekend. Wah, the cold that I had last Thursday to Sunday was so terrible that I never sneezed so many times in my life before! The cold makes me breathe deep in and then throw out all the breath that's in me out till I'm panting away. Try that for 3 days. That kind of feeling's terrible!

Friday came and I could not take it further, and so went to the polyclinic to see the doctor. She told me that it's a common cold and gave me stronger medicine to curb it. I slept through Friday and Saturday before going to aunty Bessie's house for dinner. Missed going to Matthew's grandmother's house to bai nian. Hiya.. Falling sick at the wrong time, really.

Now, the cold's gone but the pain in the nose is still here, since Monday. The pi sai in the nose hardens and it's really painful that when I try to remove them, my nose bleeds. Put water to soften it and I see blood stains on my fingers. Oh, how? Now I understand how painful it was when Matthew went through that nose operation. I don't even think what I'm going through is a quarter as bad as that. It's uncomfy still though.

Alot of work to be done lately from school. This thing, that thing. Haven't recovered from loss of strength too. Though had a good rest last night, today I felt tired too. Maybe I'm bleeding too much. Haha....

Anyway, I need to be well. Last Friday when I fell ill, that was supposed to be 23rd Feb! Blood donation day. But then I missed the opportunity. I'm planning to go next Friday, so pray that I'll be well before that day. Don't forget that 3 days before, I can't take medicine or Chinese herbs too. If not I'll be unfit to donate blood. Hmm...

God be my strength...

I'm better

2007-02-21T21:55:00.000+08:00

After falling so ill about 3 weeks ago, I'm much better now. Oh yea, happy new year to all! Haha... =)
It's been a very busy year this time. I wonder why work gets busier and busier and not the other way round. But I guess I'm enjoying it better this time round. More teachable spirits. Everyday, I'm planning lessons to try to stretch them further. I realise that I can do it for Maths but not that adequately for English. Have to brush up and spur them on. At times the stress gets a little uptight that I dreamt he whole night of how to conduct the lesson. Then when the lesson takes off, aiyah, no sweat. Ok liao, in a matter of time.
Guess I'm not going to write too much today. Am seriously tired after CNY. Hangover ah!! Never get drunk, maybe over too much marking... Going to take care of myself by resting. If not cannot donate blood soon! =)
DONATE BLOOD! Did you get that? Quick quick, go down to the nearest blood bank at HSA to donate your packet of blood now! YAY!

Thanks Penguin for your words of comfort. =)

God be my strength...

An unexpected day of happenings

2007-01-28T15:00:00.000+08:00

1pm in the afternoon. I was supposed to go to Red Cross House for a Youth Officers Sharing Session from 2-5pm. Because of this, I had to unwillingly miss BAG session at Ps Keith's house. It's the first session and I was rather exthusiastic about it. Oh well. Anyway, I was on my way to Red Cross House by MRT. All of a sudden at around Aljunied station, I felt a sharp pain coming at my stomach. The first thought was that it must had been really bad period cramps. It was very bad. Well, almost as bad as that previous time when I teared in the middle of a sermon in church due to that same kind of pain. The pain would not go away and I pressed my head against the MRT door and clutched my stomach. I SMSed Matthew to pray for me and for the pain to go away. But it didn't. Rather, it intensified! Wah piang, I felt weak instantly! My vision became hazy and talking became nothing but noises. I was thrown into a state of confusion, of trauma and I didn't know where I was.

I quickly squatted down and covered my head with my hands. I was frowning like I never frowned before. It was just tremendous pain and I could not control it at all. I felt faint. Oh no!! I couldn't see. Oh no, I didn't want to collaspe. I didn't. Calmed myself and prayed. I waited in the MRT at that position till it was Tanjong Pagar then I walked out to sit on the seats at the platform. Throughout that time, not a single passenger offered any help. Instead, all I could possibly see was that it was a cleared passage for me to exit from the train. I almost vomitted too, perhaps due to the pain.

Waited at the train platform for another 10 minutes while I called Matthew that I could not attend the outing with him and his family to the SIngapore-Malaysia soccer match. Something I was looking forward too but can't go. I SMSed my Red Cross partner that I would not be going for the meeting. I weakly went up the escalator when I was slightly better to ask for help at the control station. The person on duty was a very nice Malay lady who was about 5 months pregnant. She offered me a plastic bag and, upon seeing that I was unwell, brought me to the lounge to rest. There, she asked another colleague, think her name is Siti, to take care of me. I was given a drink and a blanket to rest on the sofa, but I could not really speak or do anything. I then coughed and vomitted into the plastic bag. Yuks... all water and no food. I was groaning in pain when it all happened. So painful and the pain could not subside. But I was comforted by the staff. THey were all so kind! Thank God for sending them.

I asked to go to the toilet but nothing came out. Cmae back and requested for an ambulance to send me to hospital. I was afraid that if I left myself, something might happen. It would also be good if the doctor can check on me. I can't assume that it was because of stomach cramps only ya?

After 15 minutes, the ambulance came. Propped me up a wheel chair and pushed me down to the ambulance. As usual, kaypo Singaporeans kept peering to see what had happened. Never want to help but when something happens, keep looking as if it's none of their business.

Around 3pm, got to hospital, and sis was already there. I went into A and E and there were so many people. When the doctor came to see me, I was told to take chest xray, urine test and injections. About 4 injections in all, where I was given medicine through the injection for vomitting, pain relief and some water to push into the system. Something else too but forgot what it is. It was a long wait there and I was pushed in here and there. Put on a drip too and it was uncomfortable. Doctor even had to check if I was bleeding from elsewhere. In the end, I was released after 2 hours of observation and doctor diagnosed it was gastric flu. Apparently some virus was found in my small intestines and that caused the pain. Not my period.

Came home with parents and Matthew. Felt weak still after resting a whole night. Slept in the morning again and just woke up.

Yesterday, there were a few things that I was at the A n E that was quite funny. Just my observation lah.
1) This man was getting quite impatient with his turn as it wasn't coming. So he shouted out to the nurse saying, 'Hey, hello! My name Suraya!' The nurse replied by saying 'Suraya not yet lah. Wait awhile!' Haha...

2) A lady in her mid 50s was so afraid of inserting needles into her and was screaming to the doctor (same one who attended to me). She said alot of things and the loudest one was 'I scared of pain!'. I laughed quietly to myself.

Oh yes the doctor who attended to me was thanking me for keeping so still while he was inserting the needle in for the drip. Haha... I merely told him that I usually go and donate blood so am ok with this. He smiled. Guess it was one of the rare times he came across someone so ok. He said 'Thanks for your cooperation in inserting the needle.' Haha...

Okok.. now I'm resting at home. Given MC from yesterday to today (umm.. Sat to Sun). TOmorrow no MC, he said.

Saw Lei Hoon, my colleague from ESC working there. Nice to see her and she's happy working there.

4) There's a cheeky male nurse in the observation ward who flirts with the female nurses. ALways call them Darling, Darling, then sing 'Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling Clementine'. So funny!

Oh well.

Yesterday's lesson, there were alot of things to be grateful and thankful for. I didn't see it as a bad event because there were so many people God sent on the way. I laughed to myself that instead of going for the RC YOSS, I happened to be a victim of paramedics and doctors etc. It was truly a practical session. SOmething I can share with my Red Cross pupils and a reminder of the importance of first aid in life. What a precious lesson!

God be my strength...

MC

2007-01-08T20:41:00.000+08:00

Yet another meaningful day but then my voice started to get a little bad. Had to go to polyclinic to see the doctor, just in case it acted up again. Sure enough, the doctor gave me a day's MC. Had to take it, if not the following day would be worse! I know my condition, once I have a sore throat, I must take MC for a day, if not the following 2 days after that day I will have completely no voice. Isn't that worse? Hiya, tomorrow will be missing a day with my classes, as well as the music workshop! Oh no.. just knew today after reading the email. First time teaching music lah, so need to know what's going on. But guess I've got to wait till I return to school on Wednesday before asking colleagues what happened. UBD also have to put on hold, as well as Red Cross planning. Want to get well!! Want to get well!!
Oh well, will just work from homr tomorrow since I can't talk. Get some things for the class from Tampines Popular too.

God be my strength...

Sick - Germs in the Air

2007-01-06T23:28:00.000+08:00

I fell ill yesterday. When I oke up inthe morning, I was already having a slight cold. The cold did not leave, as I thought it would as in the case of a sinus. But it was not. So I had to use tissue for the whole day. WHen I was teaching, the cold would disappear, but in the staff room or during the course, it got worse. I used up almost all the tissue I had. Had to ration because I only had 1 packet. Tim was so tight, there wasn't time to get another packet.
In the course, it was rather bad because the aircon was blowing at me. Felt cold and throat was beginning to be painful. I thought I had fever. Okok, isn't that flu? I asked myself.
Took losenges when I got home and rested for the day early. Today woke up with painful throat again, and went to get stronger losenges, Difflam. This time, it was better but still a little pain. Then nearing afternoon, I felt my whole body ache. Oh no!! Because I was out, good thing Matthew quickly haileda cab to send me home. Took panadol and cold medicine and slept through for 5 hours. Woke up at 7pm. Now I'm feeling such better though still a bit weak. Can't exert myself for the next week or so. Must take care. I think I had caught a virus infection, because I did not shout this week at the classes. Have been getting enough sleep too since school started. Taking vitamins too. Hmm.... There ar germs in the air.

BEWARE!

God be my strength...

First week of school

2007-01-06T22:52:00.000+08:00

It's a new year and I'm taking a new class this time. 4F as form class and 4D as subject teacher. The last 3 days have been enriching, that while I got to know my new classes, especially my form class, I got to meet with my previous 5F and 5H classes over recess time too. It wasn't intentional but I was really hungry, so went down to buy food from the canteen. It was Jasmine and Ziqian that I met first and after that I met Dexter and Alex. It was really heartwarming to see them and it felt as if they've all matured. Oh yes, not to mention that Nicholas came to find me at the staff room early in the morning. Shared with me a little about his holidays. I'm glad for him that he seems to be starting afresh this time round. Will encourage him when I see him. Leroy appeared from nowhere durig recess and he told me that he thought I had gone to another school to teach already and he would not see me again. Umm. I laughed and asked him whether it would be better, since I would not be in school to bug him in Maths. He said he wished I had taught him this year again and that he would be sad if I had left the school. Never knew that a boy like him would think of such things. Oh well, will encourage him too when I see him.

I thought I heard someone calling me at the other end of the canteen and it was actually my former form class 5F students. There was Junhui, Chian Hui, Marcus, Shu Hui, Fang Ting and a few more others like Jamie from 5E who were eating together. Got to talk to them awhile and catch up with them. I'm glad that they've all got good teachers this year. =) Sincerely wish them the best.

As for my own class 4F this year, they are like angels. Thank God! Cute and open to teaching. Because it's the second HA class, they are better behaved and the kids are more driven to excel and excited about knowing more and learning. Still have a long way to come to know them. Some new initiatives that I hope to implement in class this year. I still scold them though they were well-behaved. Like when some did not hand in the personal particulars form, and for those who tried to pack up all their things way before the school dismissal bell rung. Had the chance to teach Ju Xiang and Jacques for 10 minutes in class after school on Friday because they did not understand how to solve a particular Maths problem.

This year will be an exciting one. Is this some sort of a sixth sense?

God be my strength...

Enjoyable days are written like this....

2006-12-20T00:09:00.000+08:00

It was one fruitful day which was supposed to start with a trip with Matthew and colleagues to Pulau Ubin. It's something that we've (colleagues and I and Matthew) have been looking forward to, because we would be walking down a nature trail and learning about nature, and after which to have seafood lunch there. Would be a perfect day! Matthew took leave specially for this day too. Really excited about it!

But just as we thought that we would be able to go, then came the rain, that poured and poured and poured... It's already almost the 3rd day already since Sunday night, and it's still raining very heavily. So, the trip had to be cancelled. Much to many of our disappointment.

So Matthew and I had to re think our plan for the day. Didn't want to waste his leave and time together. So we met up at the airport for breakfast. We had 2 things in mind: the curry noodles and fish and chips. But, aiyah, both were not available. So funny! So we ate something else. I tried the economical rice while he had shui jiao mian. After which we took a train to Tampines to take a look at Ikea, the newly opened one. There was a shuttle bus that took us there, together with a huge crowd of other people. We were just wondering where these people came from since it was a weekday.. Hmm?

Ikea was huge! Just across from Courts, which was clearly a fierce competitor. We did quite abit of thinking and writing down the prices of those items that we might need to purchase in future, and compared between prices etc. It was a good time. 2.5 hours later, we were still at the floor we were initially at. Haha... so many things to see! We were hungry so went for lunch at the Ikea restaurant. Queue was very long and it was till about 30minutes later that we got the food to eat. The food is very nice... especially that of the chichken wings as well as the fish and chives. Wow! To put it cimply, fish and chives is actually fish and chips. Hiya, wonder why 'chips' don't say as 'chips', must put 'chives'. Sama sama mah...

Soon in the evening, we went to Sean's birthday dinner at Singapore Swimming Club. It was a simple one with close friends, and it was a good time of fellowship. =) Sean suggested going bowling after dinner. It was a good time! We all didn't do well in the 1st round, but better in the 2nd. Matthew's score was fantastic! Scoring more than 100 points in the 2nd set. That easily put him 3rd in position out of the 6 of us. Yay!!

Still, the rain is pouring... We took a cab home. Something which really touhed me was that Matthew sent me home and paid for the cab fare, while knowing that he still had to take a cab home after that. He was having cold and headache, and feeling very tired. So I was really touched. Thank God he managed to catch a cab home soon.

Was a well spent day all in all.
Thanks to God!

God be my strength...

Hamster #3?

2006-12-16T23:28:00.000+08:00

You see, today Matthew and I went to take a look at the hamsters at Sam's Pet Aquarium at Marine Parade and he really liked the hamsters there. But they were rather expensive for me (imagine $18 per hamster!). So I suggested going to Simei's Pet Lovers Centre where there's a wider variety of hamsters and cages. Matthew had wanted a hamster #3 when his #1 and #2 passed away one after another after a year. Hmm, maybe this is linked to the spat of mystery illness that MALES die from in their sleep. *joking* Anyway the previous 2 really died under astonishing circumstances. Till date it is still a mystery.

After my backup practice in church, I met Matthew again at Simei, this time taking a look at the cage and food and bedding to be bought. When we got there, it seemed that the whole pet shop had shrunk!! Aiyoooh, half of the shop was 'chopped' off and the remaining space had all the items squeezed into it. Wah piang, no space. I got abit irritated because there were so many people and so little space. The sales person was quite kind, this person called Rachel Tan. Raelly nice, and if there were a gems card, I would write that she's a nice and helpful assistant. =) Helped us find bedding and compared to see which cage was better. Hee! In the end Matthew got the same cage as mine. Same colour as well. He wasn't really assured that it would make a good cage, so we went through the pros and cons of the cages and finally my cage rating came in tops! Yeah... =)

Then Matthew's heart suddenly melted when he saw the $8 hamster. At first he didn't want it because it was cheap. But then I told him that if it's because of the colour that it's cheap then it doesn't really matter. Besides it's really cute. His heart melted and he extended his finger to the hamster. Asked the assistant the gender of the hamster and she told us that it's female. Matthew said he would get it. Wah, you should have seen the look on his face when the cage and bedding was set up, ready for the hamster to be put in. The hamster was kinda confused when she just got into thr cage. But she will find her new house a nice place to live in, with her new 'papa'.

Mum and I were just talking about terrapins and hamsters when she said, 'Terrapins are terrible!' Hahaha...... that is if you get the joke!

Goodnight!

God be my strength...

Facial

2006-12-12T23:48:00.000+08:00

Today's my third trip to Dermalogical for facial. Woah, pain ah! Learnt a few tips from the therapist about oily and dry skin, or what to do before a facial.
1. no coffee or tea for at least an hour before facial, if not the extraction will be more painful
2. don't do facial during period, if not it would be more painful
3. drinking water is important but then having masque and toner and moisturiser is just as important
4. acne on the forehead caused by bodily toxins (sis says otherwise)
5. acne on the chin and sides of the face caused by stress (sis says otherwise leh)
6. wrinkles on the face is actually caused by not having enough water on the face
7. avoid seafood as it contains alot of toxins. BAD for the face
8. avoid oily and spicy food too!
9. don't control urine for long time because it will aggrevate the face condition

Just some tips to share.

God be my strength...

Graduation and House!

2006-12-12T11:20:00.000+08:00

Last Sunday was graduation day for One For Life. It was an event that required much planning and finally we saw the fruits of it all. Was a wonderful time of testimony sharing. Invited Yonglin and Ryan and my parents to attend this occasion. Matthew and I came up with a poem (actually Matthew did most of it) to share with everyone. Really is a course that I enjoyed because of the warm fellowship as well as the homework and accountability throughout the session. We have one more session in meeting up with Raj and Jo. Look forward to it.

Went to view our new flat on Sunday before the graduation ceremony and were surprised that the flat is almost 70% built! So fast! Matthew even made friends with the man in the mama shop at the MRT. A friendly guy and this place feels homely. Oh well, have clean toilets at the MRT too. Haha... not many people. But I wonder where the market would be if I needed to market for food in future. Thinking about it, it's something thrilling yet stepping into the unknown. Hmm.

Just added 2 songs into my blog today. Brother gave me the website and I realise that I could blog it. I personally liked the song 'You Raise Me Up'. The other song is by Jeff Chang. This song ok only, just that I think this vocals are quite good.

Have a listen at them. They are located at the top RHS of the blog. =)

God be my strength...

Blood Donation

2006-12-02T10:51:00.000+08:00

Finally, after almost 10 months, I decided to go donate blood again. =) THis time, I was not rejected! Thank God! =) So happy an occasion. Well, if you know me well enough of blood donation history, I always genna rejected. Recently I've been taking multivitamins and they have been helping me build resistance. Feeling less tired too. Can you believe, my haemoglobin level was 14.3???? This is a record! Usually it would be 11.5-12.0. Even when I get to donate previously, it would be because I just scraped the mark, getting 12.1 or something like that. So this time it was really a joyous occasion. I immediately SMSed Matthew about it. Happiest day in the week.

When I entered the room, I realised that there was a crowd. Felt happy because the percentage of blood donors here is only 1%. That's quite sad, because the fact is that many people need blood. Accidents, operations etc. It was something more significant to me than any other day I donated blood because this is the first time I'm donating feeling really heavy hearted about it. I realised how important it was that blood saved lives. When dad was in hospital and bled and bled, it was so frightening. What if there were not enough blood and he dies? What if blood bank were short of blood? Dad's case is not isolated. I believe there are others who need blood just as urgently. I felt, that I was not just doing something I liked, but really, giving life to another life who needs it to sustain life. I thanked God for giving me this opportunity to be healthy and donate blood. There are some who cannot donate blood due to hepatitis or other illnesses, so I'm one of the population who is eligible. Why not? It's free, and not very painful. In fact, no pain lah. Don't worry! Back to my story, I almost teared where I was sitting, waiting for the nurse to tend to me. I was thankful for that blood donor who had donated his/her blood to save him of his life where it was so crucial. (Doctor really said that dad might not have lived on if he was sent in any later.)

When it was my turn for the donation, the female nurses didn't dare to take blood for me. Reason being my veins were too fine, and they dared not do it. Oh well. Then a big sized male nurse came and said he would do for me. *Gasp* He didn't look very approachable. Pain went through my mind, and immediately I tensed. It wasn't gentle at all and even applying the medication was rough. I was wondering why the other female nurses were so scardy cat, say hello already then go off and do for other people. Told myself to relax.... Soon, it was over. Yeah! 450ml of blood. =)

The donor who had been waiting for her turn was watching my expression through the whole ordeal too. Hmm, I think maybe her veins also very fine. That's why no one came to do for her. True enough, that same male nurse came forward to her and did for her. Opps... I thought I saw her cringing. =p But then after that, she was happy that she could donate her blood.

God be my strength...

Julie's Wedding

2006-11-26T00:44:00.000+08:00

Had the privilege of attending Julie's wedding today at Rasa Sentosa. It was a joyous occasion, and the first wedding I attended from a colleague. Reached the small cosy conference room look-a-like room for the solemnisation. What surprised me was that the one officiating the wedding wasn't a pastor but an elder. Well, it's usually a pastor who officiates the wedding, but not for today. Guess who the person was??? Haha....

Wait... Matthew, if you are reading this, you will surely laugh at the answer!
The officiator is (drum roll).....
Elder
Jeffery
Goh

Tada!

Umm, he's a very very humorous man who lectured Matthew in SIM when he was pursuing his degree course. He also happened to give my NIE mates and I an impacting and inspiring workshop about the reality of the teaching world. Both Matthew and I look up to him.

He looked so solemn when reading off the script about the meaning of marriage before the solemnisation. Very very serious, which is definitely not his character. Erm, I thought so? Or maybe then, he may be an introvert after all when he's not teaching.

Well, I was wrong!

After the groom kissed the bride, and after both couple and 2 witnesses have signed the wedding cert, Jeffery Goh went on to give the mini sermon. His first words were 'HULLO?!!' Wah. That came at 100 decibels! Super loud. Haha... we all burst out laughing because Jeffery went on to say that 'as a former teacher and army officer, I have a naturally loud voice. No need microphone also can'. We all roared with laughter. He went on to read the passage of Ephesians 5:22-23 about the role of husbands and wives. I listened and it all seemed to make a lot of sense when he explained what the passage meant. To summarise in a paragraph:
Husbands ought to be:
1) leader (lead the house in decisions)
2) loyal (to the wife. and to be at her side whatever comes inbetween the couple)
3) loving (protecting love over her needs, do not ask the wife to do anything that would defile her --> purifying love)

Wives ought to be:
1) submissive (good to give advice to husband, but allow the husband to lead and decide)
2) supportive (lend listening ear when the husband needs it, giving appropriate encouragement when he needs it)
3) sharing (allow both people to share freely in the relationship. Tip: go for long walks and spend quality time)

The ceremony ended, but it was still early. So Yonglin and I went up to Cheryl's room (Cheryl got a room for her family) to rest and chat. Cheryl shared that what Jeffery Goh shared was very true and as she tries to apply to her family, she finds that it really works through the years. Wow!

Then came the wedding dinner, and the food was served rather fast, about 8pm, instead of the usual 9pm in most restaurants. The food portion was very generous, and quality was quite ok. Just that I was fighting to keep awake. Haha... don't know why so tired that I kept drinking Chinese tea. Aiyo, the pathetic cup was so small that after the waitress poured it, in a minute, it was empty again. Very fast! But it didn't really help keep me awake. Same for staff dinner last night, drinking Chinese tea didn't keep me awake too. So very very tired. But then, now typing blog because didn't want to forget what I've learnt today.

Going home time was interesting! I had decided to take an MRT from Harbourfront station to Bedok, then a cab home. But thank God that when we boarded the shuttle bus, we were pleasantly told that the bus would be driving back to Bedok interchange. Wah, unbelievable! So in the end, it was a fruitful ride back to Bedok. Got to know Jolin, an ex-colleague, better. 17 came not long after, and I got back home by 12.15am.

It's been a pretty hectic week of intense meetings, and entertainment towards the end. Got abit scared over it.. Haha... being a typical introvert, the next few days would be spent recuperating and spending more quiet times. =)

Back to beauty sleep now...
Goodnight Matthew....

God be my strength...

2 startling pieces of news

2006-11-20T19:15:00.000+08:00

First day of the school holidays and it was staff retreat. We had folk dancing and later bowling. It was a happy day and full of fun and laughter, except that it was a startling piece of news to hear that my VP is going to be posted somewhere else. There was a moment of awkwardness in the hall after she gathered us from the folk dancing and started revealing the news. 2-3 seconds of silence among the 100+ of us staff. Oh my, I was very sad. I could see that some of my colleagues were upset too. I could not help it already, and tears were welling in my eyes. Why? Cause I felt that I had lost a really nice and good colleague.

I really applaude my VP. She's one person who is humble and is very sincere in her dealings with teachers and students. How I got to know that is that this year I approached her for help regarding a very notorious student. Her advice and support was something that I was very thankful of. It was a long and tedious process of nailing that student to be disciplined and to do work and behave etc. This was the time we both hounded this boy and did much follow up. I myself am touched by the display of sincerity. ... can't explain, I'm just quite lost for words.

All in all, I wish her the best. The days ahead will be better. A person whom I respect.

Second breaking news is that my new flat will be ready in 4th quarter of next year!! Almost 2 years before the expected date of completion. Wah!! It came as a huge surprise for Matthew and I. =) Didn't expect it to be so fast. But we want to take a step at a time. Of course pray for God to bless the place. Yay!!

God be my strength...

Exhaustion

2006-11-06T01:21:00.000+08:00

A friend who came by me on Friday asked me how I was. I turned to her and said 'not good'. Thank you friend [you know who =)] for your assurance and comforting words. Guess these few days, I'm just tired out, physically, emotionally and mentally. Spiritually too. It's all this business of dealing with people that's draining. Well, while it sometimes gives so much a feeling of being rewarded, the reverse is no exception too. This might just be a down-time. Too down and unhappy for a longer while is unhealthy. I think I've lost weight. Lost much appetite for life and joy. Emotions get uptight and easily affected. While work gets more hectic, some working relationships are strained too. Sometimes to the point that I cannot really take it. Have to let it out. Maybe it's difference in work attitude, and work styles. But... just as long as the work gets done, right? Of course, through the proper channels.

So much things have been coming. I thought it's the monthly mood swings, but then this up and down period of emotions seemed to be here for sometime already. Find myself getting more drained and tired day after day. Till the point that the interest in simple things are lost.

Maybe it's burnout. Maybe it's also stress of the results coming out. Maybe it's the pressure of facing parents who may come asking about their kids' results. Maybe it's working on some projects that require alot of commitment. Maybe it's incompatibility of team members.

Don't know lah.

Through this period of time, Matthew has been very patient with me. I know it's very difficult. Sorry Dear. I know it's tough cheering me up. But I cannot seem to. Am trying to cheer myself up too, but sometimes it doesn't come this way. I can't ask for a more understanding boyfriend already, who prays with me about my situation and listens and offers advice. Thank you...

Need the year-end holidays badly to recharge. It's been more than half a year of slogging, without rest. I won't say 'blame it on XXXXX' that took up so much time. Indeed it had taken up alot of time, and I had learnt much. But hey, we are professionals who teach, which is the main priority.

Talked to Pastor Bess over sis' birthday today. She advised that I really go sleep more. Church and work is getting very intense. Would want to comtinue with PMC and BAG, so I've got to readjust work commitments. Maybe pia more in the week so weekends can be used for PMC and BAG. BAG is really beneficial and I liked the section of accountability.

Lord, I thank You that You hear these cries and comfort my heart. I will carry on, living on your promises. Matthew sent me an SMS just about John 14:27.
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
Amen.

God be my strength...

Go view this

2006-10-29T23:42:00.000+08:00

VIEW THIS! =)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaVZabgpsSI

God be my strength...

Anger & little happy moments

2006-10-23T23:53:00.000+08:00

Last weekend I was an angry person. Really really angry. When I think I'm ok, I'm really not. Oh no, what's wrong? A job hazard? Or that I can't handle it? Hmm... Today, I'm convinced that the anger's still in me. Very unhealthy. Have been praying.

The teacher who does parallel teaching with me helped me out in coaching a student after school today. He asked if I needed help, and to my surprised I replied 'Do you want to help?' I thought that it wasn't a nice reply but then I guess I was unwilling that more than one person gets upset. I was already angry and upset with him, that student. He's been wanting alot of my attention, and irritates me to get it. When he gets it and he does it wrongly, he says spiteful words and sneers. All these I can tahan. Despite purposely and purposefully planning out the days that I can meet him to coach him, of course with his mum's notice, he can still give me attitude. My mind tells me that 'Rebecca, you are fed up. Just give up and stop spoiling your day'. On the other hand, my mind tells me that 'He's already so helpless, and perhaps this is his way of hiding his insecurity. Give him a chance, he needs to get his basic education. If you don't help, who will?' It's like this angel and devil talking to each other. I literally controlled myself today, 2-3 times, in front of the parallel teacher today when he was teaching him.

It was an MCQ on angles and he said (without trying) that he did not know how to do it. I gave him a clue and he guessed his way through, seemingly proud of his achievement. Then, with the relevant steps that were correct, which he said out to me, he still willfully not take up the pen to do any working. Kept guessing the answer, from the 4 options. You call that don't know or what?! Tell me lah. I took a deep breath, and continued talking to him calmly. (Btw, learnt this from Dr Tang. Heh!) I asked him if this was the correct way of solving the question. Asked him to reconsider again and do the sum. Guess what he did??? Looked to the parallel teacher [who was helping to teach another student] and told him 'I don't know how to do'. Right after he told me the answer. RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE. He made himself look so pathetic. Yeah right. The teacher solved the question for him in the end. I'm really thankful for that teacher, but then what is the condition of that kid's heart? Or, you really sincere in learning or not? Hyprocrite! Hey, we are in this together and for your own sake, spare a thought for yourself. How does it benefit you doing such things? He just don't care. Tell me 'Fail, fail lor. I don't really care'. Hyprocrite! I was very angry. He kept asking to go home, and kept telling that teacher how tired he was, and kept playing with his protractor.

Though I'm not giving up, it's as if I'm dui niu tan qing. Last weekend I was angry because of my form class, and today I'm angry because of him. My form class was ok today and I thank God for it. But anger can really take over a person. I don't want to be like that. Hope to learn to manage anger.

Well, can't help but always think that many years down the road, will kids all be hardcores? Will it be so tough to get through to them? Will they lord over their parents in future and the world will get more and more perverse? Yea, I reckon so. Perhaps this is what is called the Last Days. Only through God's hesed love will He be able to forgive so freely.

As for the happier moments I spent, it was with my class today. Gave out more class tests for the students to do, and from there identify weak spots to teach on the spot. It proved helpful. Besides, I pulled out 1-2 troublemakers to do work outside the class when necessary. It was helpful. I was glad that today, the after class supplementary lesson had more students than Friday. Last Friday I had Deryl and Darren. They stayed till 4.45pm, doing almost 2 exam papers. It moved me to be more passionate in reaching out to those who want to be helped. These students really cherish education and want to achieve more for their future. Today, there was Deryl and Darren as usual, and they called Soon Cheng too! Yu Qing came on her own accord after HCL. This was from my form class. From the other, I had Dexter. Proud of him that he's taking the effort to want to do well. He is trying and this is an encouraging fact. In the end, Deryl, Darren and Soon Cheng were the last to leave at 5pm. It was a fruitful day for them, and they were seriously interested in finding out how to improve themselves. They did paper after paper, and did corrections after I've marked them. When they don't know, they actively asked, without reservation. That was very proactive. Yu Qing too, knowing she needs to improve, asked if she could stay back. Of course, I told her! It's wierd that out of a class of 39, or 78 if I count both classes, that so few would stay back willingly. But I see that these will be the ones that will go far. They may or may not go far in studies now, but the quality of their good attitude will enable them to go far in their worklife and in other aspects of life.

God be my strength...

At The Cross

2006-10-23T22:57:00.000+08:00

Sang this song at church yesterday... a song that was very touching. New song named 'At the Cross' by Hillsongs Australia.

Here goes:

At The Cross
Intro: G/B A G/B A/C# (X3)

D G A Bm
Oh Lord You’ve searched me
D/F# G A
You know my ways
D/F# G A Bm
Even when I fail You
G A
I know You love me
D G A Bm
Your holy presence
D/F# G A
Surrounding me
D/F# G A Bm
In every season
G A
I know You love me
G A
I know You love me

D A/C# Bm
At the cross I bow my knee
D/F# G
Where Your blood was shed for me
A
There’s no greater love than this
D A/C# Bm
You have overcome the grave

Glory fills the highest place
A [G D/F# G A (X2)]
What can separate me now?

D/F# G A Bm
You go before me
D/F# G A
You shield my way
D/F# G A Bm
Your hand upholds me
G A
I know You love me

Bridge
G
You tore the veil
A Bm D/F#
You made a way
G Bm A
When You said that “It is done”

D/F# G A Bm
And when the earth fades
D/F# G A
Falls from my eyes
D/F# G A Bm
You stand before me
G A
I know You love me (x2)

The words that really stood out was 'I know You love me'. It was very assuring to me that even in a cruel world, there's a God who sincerely loves me. Note that 'loves' is in the present tense, not past tense, which means that He loved me before, now and in future too. How great is God's love... =)

God be my strength...

Haze and falling ill

2006-10-15T00:09:00.000+08:00

The haze has been back again, after about a week of clear skies. Hmm... back to about 110 in the night. Affecting people all around.
Today was a day where I fell ill again. Sigh... Morning while teaching Nicholas in school, I had a bad cold. Very bad. Used up almost 1 packet of tissue. Had diahorrea right after breakfast. Twice. For no apparent reason leh, just felt like going toilet again and again. In the evening I had gastric. Due to the amount of food passed out, I did not have a full stomach for the afternoon. So when I took aunty Muifong's brownies in the afternoon, I had gastric right after that. Thank God I brought medicine along and took it after BAG ended.

Dad will be back to work on Monday.
God be my strength...

Ah Lians and Ah Bengs

2006-10-11T20:58:00.001+08:00

Sister and I were just laughing at old times about how Ah Lians and Ah Bengs used to dress up in our times. Haha.... thinking about it now, it's so funny because times have indeed changed. I wanted to write these because these have become a part o history already. Don't think modern day Ah Bengs and Ah Lians are anything like this. =)

Here's the characteristics of Ah Bengs....
1. use gell on hair until we don't see any fringe
2. wear bell bottom pants till they literally sweep the floor.
3. For those who want to leave a fringe on themselves, their hair would be long and fringe would resemble a mop
4. shirts are tucked out
5. wear metal chains
6. poke axe brand inhaler into their nose, 'pretending' that they have a cold
7. grow long finger nails, especially the little finger
8. leave a pleated 'tail' sticking out of their sometimes neatly cut hair
9. switching on their handphones to super loud SMS 'special' ringtone
10. hane bright dazzling lights that 'absorb' radiation stuck on their handphones
11. Have lots of neoprints with 'buddies'
12. carry long wallets and have sharp edged combs

Here are the characteristics of Ah Lians...
1. Grow 2 strands of fringe that stream down the side of their faces
2. put on hairband that don't seem to be helping push up the hair
3. put on super thick make up
4. have more than 1 earholes per ear, the more the better
5. tuck in school uniform very tightly in
6. fold the waistline of school skirts up till it's very short
7. wear long socks
8. likes bright red assessories
9. wear tight elmo and cookie monster t-shirts
10. bell bottom pants and halter neck and toga blouses

Any more? Haha... just relieving stress.

Ouch... MC for 2 days

2006-10-09T11:37:00.001+08:00

On Friday night after coming home from school after a long long day of school, and carrying with me about 15 Maths workbooks to mark and return to school the next day..... I was greeted with pain in my leg. As usual, I thought it's some tiredness of the leg and thought that it would go away after awhile. But it didn't. It seemed like the familiar pain I get when I've walked too much. I applied some Chinese herbal oil before sleeping, and felt the part of the leg to check for swells. Apparently there weren't any swelling. I prayed and slept, hoping that the next day things would get better.

Next day, I purposely wore sports shoes and the insole for my arch to school and went out as usual. The pain hadn't gone away and I was slightly worried. Why like this huh? I was thinking to myself. Then by afternoon I sensed that the part of the leg was a little sore. Shoe was tight when I wore it on. I could compare because my right leg was perfectly fine.

In the evening, since Matthew and I were at Little India area, we decided to go to PS to visit the Chinese doctor at Eu Yan Sang. One was to revisit after taking medicine to rebuild my resistence, and two was to ask about the leg condition. Surprisingly the doctor brushed our concern aside and said that it's a small matter of wear and tear of the ligament. Will heal by itself. Yet I could not ignore it because it gets uncomfy everytime I walk, especially when I sit down for sometime and then walk again. Rubbed oil on Saturday and Sunday.

On Sunday, aunty Muifong prayed for my leg and cold [aiya, fell ill with cold yesterday too! so sickly!!].

On Monday when I woke up, the first thing was to think whether there's pain. If there were, it would be sensible to see a doctor and get MC. Don't want to fall even more deep into the pain and have to put up with more MCs and less time for revision. Their exams are coming too and today would be the best time to excuse myself because of compo exam. The rest of the week is a no-no to taking MC because it's the last 4 days of school to exams. So super stressed. Went to the polyclinic to see doctor and it was a long queue of people. Waited about 45 minutes before seeing the doctor. She could not diagnose the problem too except that it's a tendon problem. She referred me to the hospital for further checks by the orthopaedic, a bone doctor. I thought that it would be great if I could see the specialist today and get everything done ASAP. But have to wait, and the fastest time to see the doctor at CGH is on 14th November. At least it's after the exams and the students have activities to keep them company. The polyclinic doctor gave me 2 days MC when she heard that I'm a teacher. I was surprised that it sounded so serious. Decided to spend some time looking up some websites on tendons.

Really want to be well for tomorrow, and to carry on with work. Today's the compo exam of my class and I'm worried for them. But have prepared them adequately for this exam, hope nothing screws up.

God be my strength...

Little Blessings

2006-10-04T18:23:00.000+08:00

I was pleasantly surprised when at 1pm, I saw so many of my ex-students from 6D outside the staff room. I asked them and they were waiting for their form teacher. This bunch of students, I had taught them last year during practicum and they really formed my sweetest and fondest memories in school. Really, because they are a motivated lot and are good natured. Never seen them fight or quarrel before.

At first I saw Mervyn while I was dismissing my class and asked him how the PSLE English was. He told me it was easy and not as difficult as he had expected. When I went down to the staff room, I saw the rest of them. Edwin, Chiu Mei, Crystal, and a few others. They were glad that day 1 was over. Then, out of the blue, I saw Yan Ting coming towards me, and I thought he was really nervous. I asked him how his first paper was and he was all smiles. I had never seen him smiling so widely before, and he said 'It was good, it was good'. He suddenly said to me,'Hey Ms Seow, I've not seen you for a very very long time. How have you been?' I was stumped and thought that was really heartwarming coming from an ex-student. He assured me that he would study hard for the remaining papers and sleep early tonight. The rest of the students too. Last week Edwin came up to me suddenyl when I was doing hydroponics. He also puzzled me with some of his words. Came to ask me what I was doing, then asked if I was alright. Also said that it's been awhile since I last saw the class. Haha...

After which I went to clear hydroponics as today's the harvest day.

Halfway through the harvesting, I met my ex-students, from 6G. Asked them the same question again, and their spirits were high and ready for tomorrow's paper. It was a quick exchange of words and wishes, and in my heart, I hope and prayed that they would be able to do well, which ever class of students it is.

Maybe I've put in a lot of heart into the teaching and so I really feel that I'm going through what the students are going through. I would certainly hope for the best in them. However naughty they were in the past, that was in the past. Especially those that a lot more time and effort was invested on, my heart goes out to them.

Next year will be 5F's turn. I'm already hoping for the best in them. I guess after all that scolding, shouting and railing, I've learnt to see through it that it's afterall concern.

God be my strength...

Day 2

2006-09-18T03:50:00.000+08:00

Today's day 2 of dad's stay in the hospital. Mum woke up early , or rather, should I say mum didn't even get to sleep.... By 9am, she left home to tend to dad at the hospital. Dad SMSed me and called a few times, according to mum. BUt I was too tired to even hear any SMS that came through. Dad thought his blood had stopped bleeding, when at 12.50am, he went toilet and a pile of blood came out. Went again at 3am, when another came. 3.30am, when yet another came. OUCH! It's so painful. I'm crying as I'm typing these. How else could I release these things that had been going through? I felt that probably blaring out everything through blog was one good way. Of course the support of family, Matthew and friends came in too. It was a great encouragement.

It was at 9am when I reluctantly went to church with Amos and sis. I had wanted to go to the hospital, but then what could I do? There's nothing I could do to help too. After service, I went with Matthew to visit dad and he told us his bleeding had stopped and it was a good sign. I was really glad. He was on drip and could take a liquid diet. Aunt Bessie, uncle Yeow Song, and dad's 3 sisters came to visit too. When aunt Joyce and Josephine's family came, we could not stay longer because of the PMC back in church. So we went back to church and after that I headed home, since dad was 'better'.

Next door neighbours were very kind and they asked about dad's condition. They shared their dinner withe me upon knowing that I had not had dinner. On the other hand, Ali's family had been very concerned about dad too, because Ali happened to be working with the same hospital in the fire fighting department. He happened to enquire about this late night admission last night and found out that the admittance came from his same block and same floor. He sent his regards early in the morning.

Mum returned at about 10pm from the hospital, visibly tired. Not long after, we received a call from dad. Bad news. According to him, he started bleeding again, and this time it was large amounts of blood when he released his stools. He called a nurse to help him to the toilet. when this happened. The nurse was supposed to wait outside the toilet and help him back to his bed. But instead of doing so, she left dad unattended and went to do something for another patient. On the other hand, dad, after passing motion, suddenly felt very weak and faint. He called the nurse for help, but that nurse wasn't there! He called a few times and pressed the nurses' button but no help came. Until awhile later a nurse found out and attended to him. Dad went to toilet for another 2-3 times, with stools as well as large pools of blood passed out. By this time, the nurses were trying to contact the doctor for further instructions, and whether to perform another surgery to find out what had exactly happened. Back at home, we were all very tensed up. I suggested that we all go to the hospital immediately as the doctor is coming. Dad caled and asked for Aunt Joyce and Uncle Joseph to come too. THank God they came and gave us a lift there. By the time we had reached there, dad's face was white as a sheet. Literally white. Cheeks were shaking too. He was put on drip as well as given blood transfusion. I got real worried because it meant that he's losing blood fast. I thank God that the nurse quickly came to ask dad to sign the form to commence operation. Dad was too weak to sign, and mum asked if she could sign on his behalf. But the nurse said that as long as the patient is conscious, he had to sign it. So dad did, with alot of grit in his teeth. Aiyoh, he was already in pain. For goodness sake, just wheel him in lah! But then procedures are procedures...

Just before reaching the hospital, I requested for UPA, which my P graciously approved without hesitation. I was really grateful. I had tomorrow's homework planned out already and SMSed a fellow colleague to help me out. Thank God again, this colleague agreed without hesitation. I'm really thankful for colleagues at my workplace. What could be more valuable and dear than to be supported in such a manner! I've heard frightful stories of workplaces and people there, but I can say that of every work place. I'm thankful for mine. Really.

Dad was wheeled into the operating theatre at 11.30pm and the surgeon told us not to worry, that it would be a short operation to see what had gone wrong. It would take 45-60minutes. By 1 hour, the wait was over and the doctor came out. He told us that dad's fine. The problem encountered earlier was that his staples came out and the wound was open. Very raw, very infected. He assured mum that he has re-stapled the wound this ime carefully and dad will be fine. Dad had already woken up, but had to rest awhile in the operating theatre before being wheeled back to his ward.

We waited again anxiously and mum, sis and I were calling up Pastor, church friends and Matthew to update on the matter.

Dad came out at 12.50am and we rushed to his side just outside the theatre. It looked super drama, but it wasn't fun at all! It was so so worrying. His first words uttered was 'very painful... very painful. Help....'

The initial agreement was that sis and I stay behind to check on dad while mum goes home to rest. Mum's ill too, feeling giddy from serious lack of rest since a week ago. This time, dad was inconsolable regarding the pain. He kept tossing and turning and was gritting his teeth very tightly. He was in pain. He kept groaning every second, calling for help. Mum laid hands to pray for him while he was still groaning. Though things are really upsetting, we all believed that God is healing dad. The nurse came and said that he had to bear the pain because painkillers had been given already. Dad kept calling for help still. I was very burdened. Dad could not open his eyes at all. Oh, and on the other hand, he was still on drip and blood transfusion was taking place.

After another discussion, mum decided that I would accompany Amos home so that I could prepare him to go to school tomorrow and then change shift. I thought that was good too, though agreed very unwillingly. Mum was already going to be down. I hope she sleeps tonight.

Did some housework after I reached home at 1.45am. Prayed many times for dad. Called Matthew to update him too. I think I should sleep soon. I know I'm definitely surviving on adrenalin now, because I'm perfectly awake. Yet it's not good. Will burn out.

I'm going to sleep already. Emotionally drained. Just a last message to you... do make it a point to donate blood when you are able to. You never know when a person needs it. All it takes is a healthy body and your willingness to avail yourself only 4 times a year. Imagine how it feels for the family who's as anxious as mine, and we see a donor's blood given to dad like that, without any condition. WHat a marvellous act of love and self sacrifice. Not everyone can be healthy and donate blood. So if you are, what's really stopping you? What is 10 minutes of little mosquito main compared to the pain a sick patient has to go through and the agony of all his family members when there's not enough blood available for the patient? Is that little discomfort comparable to the pain of the person who really needs it? Take time to think about it.

Goodnight...

God be my strength...

Health is so important

2006-09-17T01:11:00.000+08:00

Dad just had a piles operation a week ago, and had 2 weeks of MC to recover from the wounds. He has been very weak and cannot walk, stand, sit or do anything properly. He has become rather easily irritable and has to eat blend food everyday. Mum has been stressed and tired out trying to look after him, and to his needs. He can't sleep everyday, and every night, because of the pain. It really hurts me to see him suffering like this. Dad would joke and talk as normal, but sometimes, no matter how hard he tries to hide the pain, when he starts talking in a breathless and weak manner, I could see that the pain's very bad. Dad's a person with a high treshold of pain, and so this time it would take alot of suffering to make him say that it's very painful.

And recently, he's been passing out blood in his stools. Dried up blood. Painful, and had been getting diahorrea from the medicine he's taken. But today after a big stomachache, he prayed and then went to toilet and all the stools came out, though there was alot of blood passed out. He felt so good about it and came to tell me. That time I was just going to go to school for remedial. I was happy and did not thing about anything else.

In the evening at 8+pm, I received a call from Amos to come home immediately, because dad's been bleeding all day, and it's been the 10th spat of blood that's coming out from what he's been passing out. Even with urine too. It's at least 5 times worst than menstruation. Got me so worried! I was ordering tea and hokkien mee at block 85 market with Matthew when the call came. Tea was already on the table but the mee wasn't there yet. So we cancelled the order and left the tea over on the table and went home at once.

When we got home, the front door was opened. Next door aunty Sayang and Mei Ye jie were in my house and I was wondering why. Must be something serious. Dad was lying on the bed and making calls to be admitted to hospital through another surgeon. Many calls were made and I got real worried because dad would be really drained by now. He could hardly open his eyes! I mean, he's so tired.

Said a prayer for dad. So did Matthew and the rest of my family. Mum was stressed and anxious. Very. About 2 hours later, after frantically trying to get a few key people to settle the arrangements, we called the ambulance to send him to hospital. The paramedics came and got him out on a stretcher. I was trying hard not to cry. The whole thing came as a shock to me. He will be staying there for a night.

Mum and sis went with dad while I stayed to take care of Amos.

Whoever reads this, I would really appreciate you saying a prayer for dad. Thank you. I believe God knows what He's doing and it's still part of His plan. In fact, He's so gracious to have brought us good neighbours, and my family closer through this incident.

Dear friend, do not take health for granted. Many times we do, and we overwork ourselves that we become literally slaves. Learn to take things one at a time, and appreciate those around us.

God be my strength...

September Holidays

2006-09-07T21:42:00.000+08:00

Have never spent a more busy September holidays! Oh, and I thought I was supposed to be sleeping now??? But then, I decided to type blog because I've not updated my life for sometime. Thought I was going to have a solid week of rest this time round because I worn out my June holidays with AR. This time round it was busy too (but a good break from lessons) with courses and a continuation of AR. Oh yes, worksheets not done yet, markings not done yet. Hmm. That's the mental stress that is on my mind. But to me, I think I want to sleep more this holidays. Have to store up enough energy for the last and most important semester. I'm excited about it because some of my students are alraedy studying for final year exams. At least those who are hardworking. For those who are not, I really hope that they are studying!

What I did in the holidays... and the week before.
On T3W10, I got almost 1/3 of my subject class to stay back in school to do corrections from their Maths workbooks. Phew! They were consistent in doing them and gave me quality work to mark. I thank God! Had the opportunity to go through with them too, some concepts that they were not sure about whilst doing corrections.
Holidays time, I realised the need for my class to do their workbook corrections as well, especially for those who are better in studies and can finish their corrections within one day. I prayed about it and started calling these students a day before Tuesday, to come the next day to school to finish up corrections. These are those with conceptual problems in their workbooks. To my surprise, almost 90% of them agreed that they could turn up. They did and I was really happy. They are a better lot of students (more serious in work apart from handing up work on time) who did their corrections dilligently. I managed to teach those who had conceptual misunderstandings, and they could understand why some sums were done in a certain way. Wednesday was the same as well, and some students came a second day to finish up their corrections and to learn more about Maths. I was really encouraged because they had a very good attitude to start with. I praised them that they had made the right choice to be serious in preparing for the exams and doing corrections. At a point, when I was busy teaching a student, and when another had problem, I saw something which touched my heart dearly. These students who could attempt those questions that the weaker students could not started giving their time to help and coach them. To me, it meant alot because the class started out with an atmosphere that is not very accepting to each other. Now some of them are taking on the role of a 'teacher' and in turn helping their peers out. I see parts of the class bonding. =) The 3 hour remedial period I had stipulated for them was eventually extended to 4 hours, on the request of some of them. I was a tired, happy teacher.

Afternoons were spent doing AR, very tedious. Thankfully my colleague is very capable and we did quite abit. Zaid came on Wednesday and stayed till 5pm doing Maths. Brought him for lunch and talked a little to him, trying to encourage him. I gave him a 5 minute break at 3.30pm and he went to the piano to play a tune. Umm, it was a tuneless tune, and when I asked, he said he did not know how to play the piano. An idea strucked me then I told him that I would teach him a piece after he has mastered every topic we have done. He agreed and so we went upstairs to continue work again.

Today till Saturday would be full days of courses. Sexuality education as well as win-win discipline. It's been tiring. Last night also helped sis with some translation of her new nutrition project from English to Chinese. I realised how rusty my Chinese was!! Haha.... sorry Chinese teachers! Though I can think up the sentences after a short wait time, some words I can't remember writing them already. But aha! I had the use of a dictionary. =) So managed to help in some ways. Wah piang, so tired by the time I translated till 12.30am. Spare me! By that time I was also getting irritated. Why give so much work for sis to do when she has not even signed any contract??? Don't make sense mah. I wasn't keen to translate after finding that out before I slept. My mind went like 'what? Haven't sign still got to do such things? Sign already then jia lat lah. Later if they are dishonest about their dealings then how? Got pay or not? For those documents that are sent to them already, got her credit or not? Why haven't sign contract yet?' That was the most jarring questions. How could work be given her when she has not even signed contract? Then whatever she does and sent over before they even hire her, who gets the credit? Didn't make sense to me. When I was asked to do some translation after work today again, I was really unhappy. The company don't even have org chart, and it's 'very small'.
Hmm.

God be my strength...

Readers' Theatre

2006-08-30T16:44:00.000+08:00

Had readers' theatre yesterday with the P5s, and we managed to get in 2nd in place. =) Wee!
The students were so happy! Never expected this because we hardly practised. Yet 2 of the participants had practised many times over the previous day.

Here are some pictures.

God be my strength...

Kind Mr Taylor

2006-08-21T18:54:00.000+08:00

Went for grade 5 piano practical exam today at Kawai Music School at Paragon. It was a far walk from the MRT station but I was early. *smile* Because I didn't want to look silly sitting outside the exam room 30 minutes before the appointed time, I went to look for something to eat at the basement. Nothing really caught my attention so I just walked. Bought an old chang kee curry puff and strolled the way up to the 5th level. Still early, I thought, and I went into the shoe shop next the Kawai, selling Betula shoes. They didn't have the ones with strap at the back, sigh. Nevermind. The sales girl said that they don't sell these kind of shoes in Singapore. So that explains why I only saw them on the internet... Anyway, I thought might as well to into the music school and register myself lor. Nothing to lose being early too. Walked into the school and at the registration table was uncle Yih Chyang's sister. Wah, so coincidental! It was a relief to see a familiar face, I thought. Erm, but she could not recognise me. So I reintroduced myself to her. I thought she was another sister of his, because all looked so alike! Haha.....

She briefed me on the procedure of the exam, how I was to greet him, as well as to give me a shock... She said, 'Oh, if you are ready, you can go in after this student comes out'. Erm, which is like in 5 minutes time???? I was so shocked. Told her I wasn't at all prepared, as it was only about 11.20am, 21 minutes from the exam time. In the end, I decided to take the exam early. Prayed about it already, so God will grant me His peace.

The examiner was an Englishman by the name of Mr Taylor. He looked fatherly, or, to the younger candidates, grandfatherly. *smile* To me, he looked like a mix of Mr Eric Wood and Rev Ross Tooley. Get the picture? So I was relaxed when entering the exam room. He didn't look intimidating, which was good. I told him I wanted to do the scales first and them the pieces. He said ok. Very polite gentleman. Keep on saying 'thank you'. Wasn't used to it, because I was supposed to be thanking him because he's the examiner afterall, isn't it? Or, maybe this is the English culture. If so, then it's really nice. If only our kids have such culture. Wah...

We started with the scales, and we did D major, A minor and C minor. I fumbled at A minor when I was playing backwards, but continued it anyway. My piano teacher told me to carry on no matter what. Which I did. I thought the examiner was really kind to ask me to play C minor after fumbling at A minor, to sort of regain my confidence. Indeed I felt confident again after C minor. =)

Next came the part that I kind of dreaded, which was playing the pieces. THough I was well-prepared, sometimes the performance then and there was not optimal. Was praying and praying hard that the pieces would be played well. There were supposed to be 3 pieces that I needed to play (from practise and through looking at the scores), Rondo, La Tarantelle and New Orleans Jazz. Out of the 3 pieces, I really liked the last piece because it was played slowly, with lots of emotions and in a lazy kind of style. Really liked it. I thought it suited my style. Rondo was so-so. It's a dance and very lively, with not much of other emotions, so no rubato. Ok ok, kinda suit my way of playing. But no way for the second piece, which is a spider dance. Totally out, because I needed to play it fast, accurate as well as having that kind of menacing tone in the playing. Something that I tried and tried over the past one over years and find it hard to master. Few days back when practising, I managed to get it right, but then there would always be the fear of when I would play it wrong again. Anyway, I played all 3 pieces. And thanks to God, I played them as if I were dancing, as if I were stung by a spider and as if I were playing jazz. I enjoyed New Orleans tremendously that I wanted so much to play it again. The precision was perfect and the touch and amount of strength was 'wah!'. I peeped at the examiner who was sitted behind a table behind me, and thought he gave me a FULL MARK for this 3rd piece. My heart leapt!

Next was sight reading, and the whole tune was 4 long bars long! And it was all in E major. AIyoh...... 4 sharps and it was complicated. Remembered what my teacher told me, to carry on no matter what. Count my timing, don't stop. Don't replay. Keep in time. Ok ok.. So I followed. It was disastrous, and the tune was wierd sounding. Didn't panic, because I had God's peace. We'll see how it goes when the results are out.

Next was the oral component, where he would play me a short 2 bar of music and I was supposed to sing the tune out. Thank God, and thanks to my teacher who trained me tirelessly, I managed to remember the tune. Then it was sight singing. That was the easiest component, and so I managed it as well. Then came the last component, which was a piece played by the examiner, and I had to identify which period it came from, as well as to answer a few questions regarding the piece. I thought it was a 20th century piece because there were many chords played. Mr Taylor asked me to describe the chords, which were beyond me. He played 2 kinds of chords and asked me to comment which one sounded more like what he previously played. I picked out the second piece, and commented that it sounded a little jazzy, which was why I concluded that it was a 20th century piece. He seemed satisfied with the answer, though I didn't know what I was really saying. Hmm.... Then, was it in 2 beats, 3 beats or 4? I could not answer it. It was definitely not 3 beats, so I chose 4 beats. Hmm, 50% chance of getting it correct.

And then the examination was over! All done in 10 minutes.

Uncle Yih Chyang's sister told me that today's the first day this examiner is testing students. She told me he's a nice examiner, not like one, whose name is David Price (or something like that) who is impatient, and very punctual, and very fast in testing the students. She told me that this is the only examiner who is notorious and all piano teachers detest, as well as staff from music schools. So God blessed me with an ok examiner. I saw that this examiner also bothered to write alot of comments on my playing, which was good. When I get back the results, I can better work on these areas that he has commented about. It's not just a result slip but more of an assessment of how I had done and pointers to improve from the critiques.

All in all, it was a tense time. Haha... back to school tomorrow!

God be my strength...

New Hairdo

2006-08-09T00:08:00.000+08:00

Decided to go do something to my hair after a long while of contemplating... You see, I've got stubborn hair and after a certain length, it would just kiao3 to a side. Not nice... very thick and it's unsightly too. So today, after staff lunch at Han River, and with the support of Sharon and Huimin, I decided to seek out a reputable hair salon to do it. My hair's messy enough and it really needs a good cut and treatment. No more $10 cut for the moment. This would be my most expensive cut and treatment of my lifetime. Imagine the amount of calculation and homework I made just for this, because I hope it would turn out worthwhile.

To cut the long story short, I rebonded my hair at Kimage at Marina Square today and really liked it. The hair was most tidy and it was a happy moment of the day. After so many years of managing troubled hair, it's so much better now!

YAY!

It would be an unusual start to national day. =)

God be my strength...

Debrief

2006-08-07T21:29:00.000+08:00

Yesterday in church there was a short debrief of the Befrienders and Discipleship Group gathering. It was a resounding success as many managed to attend the fellowship lunch last week. Here are some of the pictures taken!

God be my strength...

Composition

2006-08-07T21:18:00.000+08:00

Lin Yin, my colleague, asked me today during Mother Tongue period whether I was free. I said 'yes', because that was my free period. Then she told me to wait, while looking through her composition books. She said that I would have a worthwhile wait... Took out OL's Chinese compo book and asked me to read it. It was a piece of continuous writing and the topic was regarding his favourite teacher, the one who left the deepest impact in his life. I was surprised that he actually wrote about me. Wah, me, his favourite teacher?! I always scold him leh, for fighting and playing and doing things in class. Umm, gives me the greatest headache, as well as the greatest worry. Time to time try to talk to him and tell him of what he should do or not to do. He wrote that I'm pretty (hee!!!) and likes to laugh a lot. Teaches the class but he always gets into mischief and makes me angry. He write that in the end he wants to be an obedient boy in my class. Wah! No wonder Lin Yin said that it would melt my heart. =)

After that, I left for free period. Settled a discipline case with a student. Erm, hopefully! It was so irritating, because he had the cheek to say that I don't bother to care for care for another student in class. I scolded him in front of the 2 people and spoke my mind. I was really tired about minding him. Don't want to study and so rude. I pray that he changes for the better. I would rather he do well in Maths and learn it because of my strictness, than for him to 'treat' me nicely and not do anything. Oh well... pray and pray....

Went back to class 3 periods later, only to be told to read another piece of composition by Marcus. To him, too, I was his favourite teacher. It touched my heart reading the thoughts he shared. He's one of the more mature boys in class, and he has helped me to clean the class, helped make friends with classmates who are not really accepted. Helps friends a lot too. I spent sometime with him during the June holidays because he was rather weak in Maths. Why I was happy, is not because of what he wrote, but more of his Maths really improved in leaps in bounds! I recommended him a book to buy and do the assessment inside, which is very basic, but slowly builds the foundation for him. He has alot of confidence now and likes Maths. Really happy!

It's a happy start to National Day. =)
God be my strength...

Wah Paing... wrong side!

2006-07-22T01:07:00.000+08:00

Sent a photo to Smiles2006 and it turned out like that. Hmm.....

A sweet welcome note

2006-07-15T01:10:00.000+08:00

Leroy wrote this on the board today when I stepped into class:
WELCOME MISS SEOW BACK TO SCHOOL!!!
Wah.....

God be my strength...

Discouragement

2006-07-15T01:03:00.000+08:00

Dealing with Discouragement

And let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we shall reap if we do not grow weary.
Galatians 6:9

A story is told about a public auction that the devil had. As the prospective buyers assembled, they noticed Satan was selling his tools of worry, fear, lust, greed and selfishness. But off to one side, standing alone, was one well-worn tool labeled "Not for sale."
Asked to explain, the devil replied, "I can spare my other tools, but this is the most useful implement that I have. With it I can work my way deep into hearts otherwise inaccessible. It is the tool of discouragement.

"What tools do we need to overcome discouragement? First, truthfulness. I've found that God is not fooled by my lofty prayers for the missionaries in Africa, when deep inside I'm hurting. God is able to handle your emotions. Be honest with yourself and God about your disappointment.

Second, pray about it. Are you discouraged about a child who rarely reaches your expectations? Tell God. Disheartened about your mate and an unresolved conflict? God knows already, but pour it out.Third, find the source of your discouragement. Sometimes it's a goal that was not attained...again. Or the problem may be a friend's cutting remark, or the feeling that you're carrying a particularly heavy burden alone, or the lack of approval by an important person in your life.

By isolating the source of my discouragement, I often find my hope was in the wrong person or in the wrong place. Or I find my response was normal-and, because I can't quit, I've just got to work through my feelings of wanting to toss in the towel.Fourth, with a heart of faith look beyond your circumstances and your emotions to a God who will renew you day by day. Realize that God uses hardship to perfect our faith (see Rom. 5:1-10). God promises that we'll one day reap if we don't grow weary.

Those words in bold jumped right out to my attention. So I've been focusing on the wrong things in life and becoming discouraged by people rather than being hopeful in God? Then I should change. Today, going back to school again, the class was very noisy. No zeng hu kind of class. They were getting used to not having a form teacher in class and everyone was everywhere. Scolded and screamed at the class many times. Voice was hoarse. Didn't like that feeling though. It was terrible. The hurt and anguish that goes through me is very painful, especially when I know that I've prepared my lesson, and am happy to deliver it. Yet to despair, no one seems to bother. I even tore Alex's worksheet right in front of his face because he did not want to do any work. Complaints I get when I give out worksheets, talking and ramblings in class everytime I turn my head to write on the board... What more... N scolded me the f*** word today, 2-3 times over. In class! Guin, if you are reading this, you probably know who this is. It's very infuriating. When L starts to listen to me in class, and asks intelligent questions, N just brushes my encouraging comments aside, and snees at everyone I compliment. He's just very bitter. Well, Im ignoring him. For all that attention that I gave him, he betrayed my trust and wasted all my worksheets. He didn't even bother to take it from the table. Lost also machiam not his fault. Am I too patient with him or what? Both P5 classes also like that, jia lat leh. I begin to feel so discouraged. Didn't want to go for remedial today as I was so tired from a day of screaming and being a mad woman. Also, my colleagues warned me about getting a relapse from flu and that would be very very bad. I somehow decided to hang on and carry on with remedial. I dreaded the thought of it, because it's remedial, not supplementary. I prayed, prayed that God would turn things around. God was faithful and He did. In fact, my students and I enjoyed the remedial so much that they managed to learn much! Leroy was enjoying himself tremendously! 9 out of 20 of them turned up, and so I decided to have a competition amongst them. Gave points to every little question I asked. The one with the largest number of points would be the winner of the day. The one with the least points would have to clean up the class after everyone had left. The lesson was animated. I allowed the students to shout out answers as and when they've got it. I encouraged them whenever they got a question correct. I laughed, they laughed. When they could do calculations on paper, I spurred them to do it mentally. It was also the first time I ever saw Leroy laugh and smile right from his heart. I could tell he was really enjoying himself through the learning. Finally, 1 hour quickly passed. It went so fast that we didn't even notice! Adib had to clean up the class, and he quietly sneaked out of the class. But the few boys went after him and dragged him up. He didn't want to clean the class, but with the encouragement of myself and the other boys, he did so. I suggested that why not we all clean the class together. In the end, it was Adib, myself and the other 4 boys who stayed back to clean the class. So I guess the day that was discouraging ended on a good note. Teaching has its ups and downs. Many a times, it's in its down times. But when times are down, do expect times to go up soon.

Met aunty Chua yesterday at the lift and she left me a word of comfort: Remember, when no one can help, God will help us. I was very touched when she shared about her experience that God heard her cries for help, when she was so alone on a stretch of road. No one came to rescue her, until she cried out to God. Forgot what it was about, but it was an excellent testimony. So, I'm not afraid. God will help. No more spirit of intimidation. Amen!
God be my strength...

Sick

2006-07-13T21:11:00.000+08:00

Today's the second day of MC, and staying at home. Recovering from flu. From what I hear from people, there's a flu 'edipemic' around here in SIngapore. Oh no.. I think it might be due to the weather. On Sunday, I had a stomachache. Monday had sore throat and followed to Tuesday. By Wednesday, I felt that my throat got worse, and went to the doctor. Got 2 days MC. Initially I thought 1 day would be enough, but today being the second day, I felt dizzy and giddy. Not sure why. So I slept and slept. Still that kind of achey kind of feeling. I pray that my class won't make me upset tomorrow and that it would be as wonderful as Tuesday. The best day of the week was indeed Tuesday. The students were meaningfully occupied and my lessons went well. Of course, everyday, I prayed that God would bless the day together with the lessons. So far, God has been blessing me and teaching me how to love them. =)
Tomorrow will be a new day, and I'm going back to school again. Hope that I would be at least 70% healed, and the aches won't act up.

God be my strength...

MC

2006-07-12T18:17:00.000+08:00

Went on MC for today and tomorrow. Caught a flu over the weekend. Sigh. Maybe it's a forced rest from God. Working without resting cannot work out. But on the other hand, there are so many things to do today. It's Sidra;s last day in school today and I really had wanted to have some last words with her. It's a pity that she's going back so suddenly, and the class seemed uneasy about it. As I told the remedial group about it last week, some were shocked. Yesterday Sidra received some gifts from her classmates, even the boys. I was moved, but also want to wish her the best as she moves back to her own country. She's the girl that looked a little like the girl who acted in the Mastercard advertisement with Richard Gere. The girl who wanted to buy a bird because she wanted to bring good fortune to her brother who was leaving. Never mind, if I can't wish her, I'll pray for her then...

The medicine that I am taking makse me drowsy and I haev been sleeping and sleeping. Voice is back already, and there's no fever already. Only cold still here. As I was sleeping today, I had a wierd dream. I dreamt that my wedding was in a run down church and was only attended by my immediate family as well as church friends. There was no officiating pastor and I was told to walk down the isle 3 times over. I was blurred and not knowing why I had to do that. Kept walking and walking. Then the ceremony was over. I realised I had forgotten all about the wedding gown, and we had forgot to order refreshments for guests. Worst of all, Matthew's parents weren't even aware of the wedding and didn't turn up! All was in a mess. I wasn't in makeup. No one clapped. People were disappointed. Wah.... then I woke up.

God be my strength...

A touching song

2006-07-09T22:01:00.000+08:00

Trust His Heart
Cynthia Clausen

All things work for our good
though sometimes we can't see how they could.
Struggles that break our hearts in two
sometimes blind us to the truth.
Our Father knows what's best for us;
His ways are not our own.
So, when your pathway grows dim,
and you just can't see Him,
Remember He's still on the throne.
God is too wise to be mistaken.
God is too good to be unkind.
So when you don't understand,
when you don't see His plan,
When you can't trace His hand,
trust His heart.
He sees the Master plan.
He holds the future in His hands.
So don't live as those who have no hope.
All our hope is found in Him.
We walk in present knowledge,
but He sees the first and the last.
And like a tapestry,
He's weaving you and me to someday be just like Him.
God is too wise to be mistaken.
God is too good to be unkind.
So when you don't understand,
when you don't see His plan,
When you can't trace His hand,
trust His heart.

Sister introduced me this song. Very meaningful. From aunty Muifong. =)

God be my strength...

Food Monster in me

2006-07-08T11:27:00.000+08:00

This week from Wednesday to Friday, I took a 72 hour detox programme from Expressions. It came together with the slimming package that I signed up for, to burn off cellulite from arms and thighs. So, I tried. Wah, can you imagine, I found out things in me that I never knew, ie. my love for food. =) 100% Singaporean, and 100% have a love for food. So, I was without food for 3 days, and surviving only on Maple syrup mixed with water and lemon juice. Apart from that, I had to take pills which gave me supplements for the day's needs. I lost only 2 kg leh, and I guess those made up toxins from the body as well as water composition. On the first day, I became quite conscious of not eating food, and reminding myself constantly not to forget it. Sometimes my hunger drive leads me to places where food can be found, and I have to tell myself that I'm abstaining from it. Other times, I just try not to think of food at all. Second day passed, and yesterday was the third. Yesterday was the worst of all three days because having tahaned not having food for so long, I would crave and crave for laksa, and everything spicy. The more spices the better. Well, even blend foods appealed to me. I went for my first treatment yesterday after Excel Fest, and on the way home on bus 14, wah, I passed by sinful places!!!! So sinful ahh....

First there was Katong. Whew! Lots of stalls with banners of Katong Laksa, Peranakan food, Malay food. Just simply delicious! I could imagine these smells in my mind. YUM! I wished I went down of that bus that very minute and grab a bite. I came to understand why poor people in 3rd world countries loot when they have no money. I would too, and now I see why. My hunger instincts are coming out! Aiyoh.... Eyes were so attentive to every food outlet that the bus passed. Boon Tong Kee Chicken Rice..... Katong Dumplings! Oooh! =) *slurp* Then the bus passed by Siglap. Killiney Kopitiam, Werner's Oven, even a stall on the way that was selling dried foods, potatoes and keropok appealed to me! I was glued to the window. Thankfully I took the window seat. Wah! I could not tahan! Oh my! This lady was holding on to her packets of food bought home fr dinner on the bus. Just 50cm from me. If she were any closer, my hands would have grabbed it away already. Hahaha..... I was famished! Dunno how to describe... Finally at home, there was a spread of good food. I lifted the food cover and took a deep breath. Mum said 'oei! You better not smell it ah'. Everything was food. I think without food, SIngaporeans would suffer so much! Everywhere, and everything is food. SIngaporeans eat a lot actually, I realised. My snacks, food every meal etc amount to so much! This detox made me realise how important and vital food is to life, how it makes me sane, at least.

The treatment that I went through yesterday was Body System, lymphatic drainage and body wrap. 2 hours, and it was good. Body system was a big machine, and it was rather painful. So many electrodes around my body. Arms, waist, thighs and legs. 8 in all, I think. For every of that, there was infra red light emitted to burn fats. Apart from that there was this spongy thing on my hips and thighs to burn cellulite. THis was the painful one, where there will be this vibration for 6 seconds, before a rest of 3 seconds continuously for 30 minutes. It felt like having a very bad cramp. Was counting down for that to end. After everything was ok in 30 minutes, my butt was numb for 30minutes. So powerful ya? I would exchange that for transion instead, because 2 transion equals to a body system. Which means I would have twice the number of treatments and more spreaded out. Besides transion is a big machine too, so not much difference. This one provides equavalent to 360 sit ups and push ups! How is the sensation like? It's as if there's this vibration that's trying to push the fats out of you. So painful Squeeze your butts and hips. Yet the results were fantastic for the first time. My hips were reduced by 2cm overall. Thighs were not good though, and it was 1cm. the lady who helped me said its because my thighs have very stubborn fats. Yeah... since young mah. What to expect? Lymphatic drainage was something like putting 2 electrodes on my soles, and every second there would be a sensation similar to that of a minizap coming from my soles. The machine would alternate from +20mA to -20mA of current. Quite scary. But it was painless. Third one was the body wrap where cream was put on me to break down cellulite. Then I was wrapped like a mummy with something that looked like a food wrap. All over! It was so tight that I could hardly move! I wore a robe over and was led to an aircon room to wait for an hour. There while the cellulite was burning, I watched TV. =) Soon, 2 hours was over.

That was my experience. Well, I hope to be able to wear jeans in future. Really admire those people who can fit into nice jeans. I hardly buy jeans because I can't fit into them. It's a terrible feeling, and I literally rejoice when I can find a pair that fitted me. But one that fits me would mean that it was very loose at my waist. In a way, I think I'm on my way of fulfilling my dream. =)

God be my strength...

YAY!

2006-06-29T22:10:00.000+08:00

Got my confirmation for my job yesterday. Principal announced it over contact and I was totally unprepared. It was rather shocking because I've been thinking why so long not confirmed and yet its just plain thinking only. Haha... now the worry is over. Phew... guo4 guan1 already! =)

It will be a busy week, and term ahead. Even a busier semester. It's funny. MAybe it's inertia, that I feel so scared when the vacations come to an end. Dunno how to face the class and teach well. But when I return back to school, it seems that I come to see what I'm doing as a duty. The complaints get lesser and the motivation gets more. Come to think of it, I think it's because I see the need of educating these students who are in 'need', but yet don't know how to vocalise it out. Their needs are manifested in other ways, through behavioural problems, through depression, through the way they draw and let out their frustruation. I realised that it's not so much of comparing with good schools but to really work on what we have here. To believe that the kids can make it. I seriously think so. These kids are bright. Yes, they zap me out of my energy from time to time (especially when he starts screaming and yelling) but at the end of the day, I had done something to possibly impact them. As I walked home with a fellow level colleague today, she reminded me of how we can remain hopeful in teaching because though we feel that what we do may not be of any significance, but in actual fact, we do make an impact in the few students' lives, those who really treated me seriously and were willing to be teachable. That encouraged me and she also reminded me of the starfish story. About making a difference to that one starfish's life even though there are many out there who need help. EVeryday I'm saving starfish! Hey... that made me excited again! I don't see this as a moodswing, but perhaps slowly understanding the nature about my job and being realistic about it. Just to do my best at what I can and leave the rest to God.

God be my strength...

Church camp

2006-06-22T22:49:00.000+08:00

It was an enriching time at the church camp from 18-22nd June at Bangi, near KL. During the church camp, I learnt a lot of things. About people, about dynamics, about God's Word, most importantly. It's the most rested of the entire holidays I had this time. Before this, it was such a stressful time of preparing lessons, conducting remedials and so on and so forth. No rest at all. This time, the camp has set my priorities right, and caused me to have a greater sensitivity towards God. I'm so thankful for my group as well as my room mate.

My roommate, Lee Cher, was a really nice roommate. =) Though it's only 4 days and nights, it was wonderful. A thoughtful person and easygoing. I remember when we checked one each other whether we snored or talked in our sleep. Haha! We did lor! I talked and grinded my teeth while she snored. Nothing really to be embarrassed about about, and it kind of deepened our sharing. It was quite funny, because I was giving out instructions in my sleep, according to Lee Cher. Back at home, I give instructions too in my sleep. Hahaha! So funny! Plus, I didn't even know what happened at all. We were in the same worship team in camp too, and I learnt from her commitment towards service and people. Inspiring. During the camp, there was one day where most of us campers suffered food poisoning and were having diahorrea. She came to ask me a few times how I felt. We took turns to take care of each other. Definitely not as stressful as my previous holiday. *smile*

The speaker for the camp was Reverend Ross Tooley, a YWAM staff from New Zealand, I think. He's a humble man who has survived for 40 years without an income, and God has provided all his needs (he and his entire family) throughout this period of time and to present and beyond. Was very happy to hear from him everyday. Twice a day. Very refreshing. The theme of the camp was 'The Father Heart of God' and Ross challenged us to make commitments and challenged our thoughts with his interesting and thought provoking sermons. Matthew and I and other campers jotted down so much notes! Every day was a day that I looked forward to, fellowship as well as to hear God from fellow believers as well as from the speaker. One thing that captured what I brought back from the camp was to seek God first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto me. It helped me to place my priorities right and not let other things that distract take the place of God.

Got lots more to share! Pictures too.... All in all, I guess these 5 days were great! Also, I got to spend time talking alot more with Matthew after sermons and at the lobby before we return to our separate rooms to sleep.

Oh yeah, not to forget shopping in KL's megamall! Wah... so nice ah.... so many shops! Haha.. retail therapy. Spent time shopping and looking for interesting things. Shows there only cost 7 RM! Wow! That's $3 per show. So cheap cheap ah!

It's a place where I'll never forget. Though the hotel is not 6 star and excellent, I'll never forget the time spent resting in God. I'm thankful for the sharing and the catching up with others. Even when people fall sick due to the food poisoning (which were about slightly fewer than 20 of us, but was serious enough), there was much praying and helping out. That's what the church should be. YEah?? Now's back to work and stressful SIngapore, but I'm not going to let work and stresses make up my life only. =)

God be my strength...

Water

2006-06-16T17:44:00.000+08:00

Read this and thought it would be useful for you.... =)

Some nutritionists insist that 80% of the country is walking around dehydrated. We drink too much coffee, tea, and sodas containing caffeine, which prompts the body to lose water. More troubling is that fact that when we are dehydrated, we don't know what to drink.The answer is simple: drink water!Water is pure liquid refreshment and accounts for a large percentage of what makes each of us "human." The average 150 lb. adult body contains 40 to 50 quarts of water. Almost 2/3rds of our body weight is "water weight":
Blood is 83% water
Muscles are 75% water
The brain is 74% water
Bone is 22% water
The Fountain of Youth, Health, and Everything Else that's Good Water is necessary for your body to digest and absorb vitamins and nutrients. It also detoxifies the liver and kidneys, and carries away waste from the body. And when it comes to digestion . . . it's just not happening without water. Fiber alone cannot aid proper digestive function by itself. In fact, without water as its partner, good fiber goes bad, causing constipation and extreme discomfort.If you're dehydrated, your blood is literally thicker, and your body has to work much harder to cause it to circulate. As a result, the brain becomes less active, it's hard to concentrate, your body feels fatigued, and you just "poop out." Water - The Miracle Worker Simple water -- when it's pure and free of contaminants -- is truly a "wonder drug." Without chemicals, additives, or anything unnatural, a steady dose of 8 glasses of water a day (ideally ½ your body weight in ounces of water) will:
Improve Your Energy
Increase Your Mental and Physical Performance
Remove Toxins & Waste Products from your body
Keep Skin Healthy and Glowing
Help You Lose Weight
Reduce Headaches and Dizziness
Allow for proper Digestion
Help to keep you more Alkaline
Drinking Water is Heart-Healthy The findings of a six-year study of more than 20,000 healthy men and women aged 38-100 in the May 1, 2002 American Journal of Epidemiology found that women who drank more than five glasses of water a day were 41% less likely to die from a heart attack during the study period than those who drank less than two glasses. The protective effect of water was even greater in men.Drinking Water and Weight LossWater is a natural appetite suppressant, so developing a good water drinking habit can be a long-term aid in achieving and maintaining a healthy weight. Doctor F. Batmanghelidj MD, author of "Your Body's Many Cries For Water" says most times your “hunger” is your body asking for water – not food. It's also important to remember that when the body is dehydrated, fat cells get "rubbery" and cannot be easily metabolized. This means that it's harder to lose when you don't drink your water. Who Can Benefit From A Water Regimen? Everyone . . . including YOU! Water is especially important for pregnant women and nursing mothers. For athletes and work-out fanatics, drinking water reduces cardiovascular stress and improves performance. And, since water reduces body temperature, it makes the whole exercise process safer and more effective.Water is also an important "healing tool" for people with a history of kidney stones. Since water dissolves calcium in the urine, downing at least 8 glasses daily reduces the risk of stone formation. Drinking water is also valuable in preventing urinary tract infections in both men and for women, flushing impurities out of the system.Even mild dehydration makes you more susceptible to viruses. For someone like me, with an immune system compromised from my battle with terminal cancer, water is a powerful weapon in my war on colds and other illnesses. I've also found that water helps me recover more quickly.When your body is hydrated, drainage from allergies and colds doesn't stick and collect in your throat and lungs, and your cough is more "productive". Even cold sores that appear on the lips are minimized by drinking water because those eruptions tend to favor dry areas on the body.Dave’s Tips for Drinking Water I know how hard it can be to remember to drink enough water every day, but I also know how hard it can be to bounce back from the effects of being even mildly dehydrated. So I'd like to share a few easy tips to help you reach your "water mark" every day:
You are naturally thirsty i.e. “dehydrated” in the morning . . . help your body flush out the toxins it has been processing all night and take advantage of this thirst to get a “leg up” on your daily water requirements by drinking a glass of water first thing.
If you are cold drink warm water instead of dehydrating coffee & tea.
Don't wait until you're thirsty to have a drink – you are already dehydrated if you feel thirsty.
Set a timer to remind yourself to establish a habit of drinking water and keep a bottle of water with you at all times.
Compensate for diuretics . . . thieves that steal water from your body. If you drink coffee, tea, or sodas with caffeine, you'll need to drink a few extra glasses of water to make up for the water that these diuretic beverages "leech" from your system.
The best water I have discovered for my health is ionized alkaline water. The AlkaBlue water ionizer conveniently produces gallons of alkaline water each day for cooking and drinking. I get all the known benefits of pure water with the added advantages of micro-clustered water for easier absorption and antioxidant properties, plus, increased alkalinity and oxygen availability . . . all of which facilitates constant, but gentle, natural, healthy, detoxification of my body.

God be my strength...

Rest

2006-06-16T17:40:00.000+08:00

Yesterday and today I refused to go to school. As I am thinking whether to go to school tomorrow, I guess I won't go as well. I ought to enjoy holidays lah, come on! Haha...

It was a good break from work and office. Finally can rest in week 3 of the holidays. Next week would be a complete break from work, and off to church camp! So excited that I started packing this very afternoon already. Thank God the AR meeting was cancelled today. Hee! Got to rest lah... If not no balance between work and play.

Went to buy stuff for the church camp yesterday night with Matthew. Actually was supposed to go SingPost to buy some working clothes from This Fashion, but ended up buying things for camp as well as some clothes. It was a nice time out! First we went to Watsons, to buy shampoo, bath foam, something to munch, etc etc... Oh, the contact lens solution took up most of the cost... In the end paid $26++... then the lady gave me a free gift, hee! A pig like shoulder rest. Quite cute! Now it's on my bed. Then we proceeded to Thia Fashion. Wow, it's big! My first time there, abit sua ku.. haha... Last time the quality of This Fashion was lousy, but now it has improved. Matthew accompanied me to find nic working clothes. Thank God for him. =) In the end, I bought 2 blouses and a skirt. He liked it very much. So did I. Maybe I'll patronise this place 4 times a year, everytime when there's a school holiday.

Today again, I rested... Spent most of my time not doing school worksheets, but writing the script for the church camp. Was given the task by my group leader. Not too bad lah... but it took about 2-3 hours to work out. Hope the idea would be used, if not the effort would be wasted. Ok ok, I'll stop here. Tomorrow will be another day of rest.

Hmm, later today got to do a few things... 2 more chapters of Maths worksheets. Tomorrow also try to do 2 chapters of Maths again. Then I would have finished the worksheets for T3. Yeah! Take things one at a time.

God be my strength...

Meaningful Poem

2006-06-13T23:39:00.000+08:00

I Didn't Know

I didn't know that years of school and a college degree
would be of little consolation when facing a room
full of bright little eyes on the first day of school.
I thought I was ready...
I didn't know that five minutes can seem like five hours
when there is idle time
and an eight hour school day far too short
for a well-planned day of teaching.
I didn't know that teaching children
was only a fraction of my job.
No one tells you about
the conferences and phone calls,
faculty meetings and committees,
paperwork and paperwork...
I didn't know that it took so long
to cut out letters, draw and color pictures,
laminate-all for those bulletin boards
that were always "just there"...
I didn't know that I would become such a scavenger,
and that teaching materials
would feel like pure gold in my hands...
I didn't know that an administration and co-workers
that support and help you
could make such a difference...
I didn't know that there would be children
that I loved and cared for
and stayed up late worrying about,
who, one day, would simply not show up.
And that I would never see them again...
I didn't know that I can't always dry little tears
and mend broken hearts.
I thought I could always make a difference...
I didn't know that the sound of children's laughter
could drown out the sound of all the world's sadness...
I didn't know that children could feel so profoundly.
A broken heart knows no age.
I didn't know that a single "yes ma'am"
from a disrespectful child or a note in my desk that says
"You're the best!" could make me feel like
I'm on top of a mountain
and forget the valleys I forged to get there...
I never knew that after one year of teaching
I would feel so much wiser,
more tired, sadder and happier,
all at once.
And that I would no longer call teaching my job,
but my privilege.

~Author Unknown~

Read this from Marleena's blog. Meaningful poem. Teaching is still not a job to me, but I'm learning to draw certain limits and not cross boundaries that are out of my job scope. Need to take time and rest for ownself, family and friends too.
God be my strength...

Pariss

2006-06-11T22:43:00.000+08:00

As part of our 5th year celebration of being together, Matthew and I planned a whole day of activities. Went out together from 7.15am to 10pm. That's a long time leh! =) Enjoyed the day thoroughly.... *smile* What happened exactly?

Intentionally blocked out totally this day. Didn't want to think of work and stress. Actually there's supposed to have AR discussion. But I was very firm on not meeting up. I don't want to, and besides, it's the holidays, so I want (not need) time off to do my own things. I don't think that's selfish of myself, cause holidays are meant to rest and relax. Don't force me to work and work like a robot. I will get berserk one. Besides, I was getting my usual IBS for the whole week, after the first week of flu. So, that makes me effectively sick for the first 2 weeks of school. No good. I need rest, and I want to build up by health before school starts again. Don't want to kill myself and suffer and suffer.

Matthew took a cab and picked me to go to Changi Village Hotel for breakfast buffet. I had planned for this part, in replacement of eating at Ah Teng's bakery. Mrs Dhillon told me they sold really nice food there. Yet because of the flow of schedule that day, it was inconvenient to go to Raffles Hotel's Ah Teng. We met at 7.15am, and had breakfast around 7.45am. Food was ok only, not very nice. I rated it 4/10, and Matthew rated it 2/10. I was abit disappointed. Anyway, after that we proceeded to the lobby to talk and to show him the cards he gave me through the years. Hee, it was a good time of recollection, except that I kept yawning. I think it's the heavy breakfast. We did not have lunch, and later in the evening, we went to Tampines. That was the highlight, I felt. Never had I been to such a heavenlt place. Wah... we went to Pariss. Matthew's recommendation. Good! It was buffet dinner (yeah, 2 buffets in a day!) and the food was simply indescribable. How to even say anything? Aiyoh, it was so good! I came back to the table so many times with this big smile on my face. Why? Because everytime it was different food. Food was overflowing and sumptous! Realised that it was halal too, and food tasted just as good. The spread and variety and quantity was enormous! There was the top 10 famous foods in Singapore like Shark Fins Soup, Herbal soup, Taiwanese Vermicilli, Marmite chicken, Curry Fish Head etc. There was a BBQ section with seafood rings, potato wedges, pizza, nuggets and so on. The Japanese section had sushi, raw salmon, seaweed and so on. Wah!! So much more! The Chinese section had dim sum, steamed crabs, mussels etc, as well as bak kut teh with crocodile soup! What delicacies! Matthew told me the croc soup is good for immune system, so I took a bowl though I was very full and hadn't acquired the taste. Desert section was spoilt for choice, and there was a chocolate machine with mashmallows beside to dip. Hmmmmm!!! =) A wide variety of cakes too and jellies, fruits and ice cream. The best part of it was the astoundingly wide range of teas for selection. 25 different kinds of flavours, with 3 fruit juices and a coffee maker. Of course there was the Teppanyaki section which I think is Matthew's favourite. Nice hot fish of all kinds specially cooked and served to us at our table. Wah! Dinner was a 10/10 compared to morning's breakfast. Haha....

Enjoyed the day all in all. We had our small chat and conversations too, which were highlights too! The talk in the bus ride, the funny moments while playing Worms 2 in the afternoon. Aiyoh.... you remember the Super Sheep? Haha... we both spoilt out chances with the sheep hor? At least yours took off before exploding. Mine drowned in as soon as 3 seconds. Hahahhaahaha........

God be my strength...

Sick again

2006-06-11T22:05:00.000+08:00

It's the 3rd week of the holidays already! Time just passes so fast. Not much work done leh... Alot of time spent on project. Hmm... But need to get some rest first, because not feeling well. Today woke up with a cold, and it got worse during church service. I was literally an opened tap! Hmm... not good. Fall sick so many times. I was glad that I managed to rid some toxic today. Hee.... read my next blog to guess why! =)

God be my strength...

A zonked out week

2006-06-09T21:03:00.000+08:00

Never knew that holidays is such a shag time. Wah... stress leh. Just now on MSN, ex-student Winfred asked me 'Teacher also can get stress meh?' Yea, of course.

It's such a week, and this is the second week already!!! Lots of work not done yet, and I'm going to start and finish one before I sleep today. Yeah! Though it will be an early night today, something still needs to be done. It won't spoil my mood for tomorrow though. =)

Have been busy with what in the previous week? Hmm.... AR, AR and more AR. Hiya... It didn't come across to me as something so big until I started doing the research. Haha, but then it will be a good learning process. Finished a 2-day course at Furama on Teaching Creative Mathematics. It was a fruitful session, and hilariously funny. The speaker had his share of bloopers... haha.... He forgot to turn off his microphone when he went to the washroom. He slipped out of the conference room while all of us were busy trying to solve a Maths problem in 2 different methods. Suddenly the speakers at the top of the room sounded his voice 'errr hmm.... ummm....(flush sound!)'. Opps! Immediately there was a 20second roar of laughter from all of us in the room. So spontaneous was the laughter, that it continued even after he came back into the room. He was very curious 'Eh, why you all laugh at me huh? You think I don't know? I was spying at you all outside from the door leh'. THen he shook his head, not knowing why we were laughing. I mean, it was just so embarrassing to mention to him. In the end, the laughter remained a mystery to him. =) A good one indeed!

Stayed up late for the past 2 nights, so was very tired during the course today. Colleagues and I didn't know where to eat over lunch, because it was Chinatown. Yesterday was McDonalds, and today was (unwillingly) Bistro Delifrance. Ordered pasta with chicken and mushroom. Ok ok lah... I was surprised that they don't accept NETS. Considering that Delifrance has up its prices, it still does not accept NETS? THat's strange. Thank God I had the cash. We were wondering how it would be like working at Chinatown. It's a place that is overcrowded, and has old buildings. Not only, the food centre that we initially planned to go was packed, and not even an empty table. Most eateries were like that too, and then I pointed out to Delifrance, which had so many empty spaces. Haha... maybe they are not doing well. Anyway, we ate there in the end.

Tomorrow will be an interesting day! Watch out for this space!!! =))))))

God be my strength...

Sebastian's journey

2006-05-30T19:23:00.000+08:00

'Oei! En, wake up ah!!!' My dad called out to me. It was 7.30am on a nice Tuesday morning.Dad's voice sounded urgent and anxious, not the usual calls I get. Umm, what was going on? I don't think I bothered and continued to turn aside to sleep. Dad came at me again.... This time with a warning tone. 'Sebastian is out of the cage ah! You better come out.' Mum chipped in too, 'Ei! He's near the washing machine, not sure if he's going to fall in'. Woah! I woke up immediately. My Sebastian came out of the cage? Huh! Since when? Aiyo, then got die or not? Wah piang, all these thoughts came to my mind. Then I rushed out tot he kitchen and saw him just beside the washing machine, looking at me. His limbs were dirty and greyish. Aiyo... my heart melted. I called out to him with the sweetest voice, 'Sebastian! Aiiiiyooooo.... why you come out?' He saw my stretched out hands and hopped into my palms. Safety! At last... I talked to him awhile and dusted his limbs. I'm glad he's not hurt.

What a close shave for him! Mum, who witnessed the whole event, saw Sebastian crawling into a hole in my house then crawl out again. There were 2 deadly holes beside this one that he crawled into, but he didn't manage to get there. Mum was scared stiff! Yeah, thinking back, if Sebastian were to go in there, he would have lost his life! Then I'll have to mourn for one hamster. Aiyo... I don't want to see him go like that. Go also must go peacefully mah.... Don't you think so? Hmm....

God be my strength...

Cluedo

2006-05-27T21:13:00.000+08:00

Brought 4 of my students for Cluedo competition today at United Square Mall. We met at 7.15am in school and left in a cab at 7.20am. Reached there super early and so had breakfast at McDonalds. A fellow colleague joined me too, and it was good company.

We were one of the few schools to reach the venue, and the boys were really hyped up and excited. To me, it's a good exposure for them, and a chance to interact with students from other schools. While having breakfast, we saw that other schools had sent their P6 students in, and they were much bigger than our team. So our boys felt intimidated. Oh well, both my colleague and I emphasised that participation counts and that's what's meaningful. Not really that of winning anything. that is of utmost importance.

The first round started and I took some photos of them. Rather nice to see this side of them, having to grapple with something different apart from school work and projects. This seemed like something they took personal charge of and were proud of it. =) I was happy for them. But first round, all of us had lost. Second round came and Syed, the sharpest of my team, guessed the answers correctly! He got 100 points, and was one of the first few to finish the game. He was so happy and came rushing to me to tell me the good news. I was beaming, and gave him a pat on his back. Then told him to go support the rest of his teammates. I could see that he could not contain his joy and he kept smiling to himself. The rest did not win in the end, but then we had to wait for the final call from the organisers by 6pm to tell us the results, whether we should turn up to the competition grounds the next day for the finals.

We went for lunch together, and then took a cab back to school. Reached school at 12.50pm and I rushed off for backup singing. Thanks to my colleague, she took care of one of the boys who had to wait for his dad to pick him up from school. Was holding on to my hp all throughout the backup singing, and after. Wait and wait for the reply from the organisers. The call never came. To think that these organisers actually promised many many times that they would call us up to tell us whether or not we have to turn up the next day. My mind was swarming with angry words. Really angry words, because all of us have our schedules and with a disorganised committee, organising such an event for some 50+ schools, this is not the way to handle your participants. I waited till it was 7pm and my patience limit was up. Don't tell me I have to carry my hp everywhere I go, even when I bathe? That was even what I did! Fuming mad, and none of their lines were working when I tried calling. My students had started calling me one by one to ask me about the outcome, but I could not offer a decision yet. I thought through who I could call, and I searched the internet for the shopping centre's information desk number. Called them and demanded a number from them that I can contact. They took my particulars and said they would find out and get back to me again. And they didn't even bothered to call! Wah, you can imagine how mad I got. Hey, those who know me, punctuality means alot to me. But I feel like a fool having to wait and wait and wait for nothing! Take me for what?! I could not take it anymore and called the shopping centre again. The time is 8.30pm. They can slowly tell me that they could not contact the organiser and perhaps we are not in the finals. Yeah, thank you very much! This is how things are handled??

So went to quickly call my team to tell them what happened. Explained the whole story to them. Hmm... end of sharing.

God be my strength...

history repeats.. how ironic!

2006-05-24T21:27:00.000+08:00

Counting down faithfully to the school holidays. I'm really glad they are coming already. What's this? I'm actually dreading through this week of school. Yeah, I know it's not good to think it this way, but I really want to have a good and clean break from school. It's so so tiring, and hectic. Sometimes when I don't have anything urgent to do, I'll automatically lok through emails and see if anything was missed out, or if there was anything to do. Yeah, there are lots of things to do. 'Holiday homework' you may call it. Took 90 minutes to plan out my schedule today in school on a big piece of calendar spreadsheet. It was tedious, but then I could see at one glance, what is going to take place within the next month. First 2 weeks of holidays burnt by courses already.....

It was meet the parents' session today, and I had arranged to meet these students in the holidays for remedial lessons. Felt so tired and heavy after writing down plans for the next 3-4 weeks. Almost everyday, there would be something on. Good and bad. Good so that I won't lose the momentum of working, and bad because there might not be enough rest time. Besides, it's not end of the year yet, and there's lots of planning to be done before 3rd term. It would be very very very busy a time for everyone, more than it is now. But I understand and see that it's not easy for everyone and we are all trying to improve and move on. Yay, positive mindset!

Friday will be level review. Ahhh..... umm. Kind of prepared what to say already. I think I will be questioned. Reminds me of my JC lecturer cum tutor, Mr Teo. A very nice and fatherly man who taught me Physics. It was because of him that I was inspired to be a teacher, and respected him. This was because whenever I did not understand the topic, I would go find him and ask him to teach me again. My basics weren't good at all, but he bothered to stay back to teach me. For some topics, it took me eternity to understand, like Dynamics and Kinematics. Wah, that topic very siong ah, and despite asking lots of times, I still was struggling. His determination in teaching me, and his dedication towards his students really impressed me. One thing was that he taught us using the long method. I didn't quite understand what he was teaching. So did some of my classmates. My class was a single Science cum double humanities class, and had a poor attitude towards Physics. In the end, consecutively for the 2 years that we were taught by him, my class 22/99 topped the cohort twice from the bottom. Very steady kind of grades. I can still remember the look on my teacher's face twice over, after our final year exam results were released. A very sad look, and we felt very sad that he told us he was scolded by the Science HOD and didn't get his performance bonus. He was visibly upset with us and himself. Aww... Now it seems that history repeats itself with me, last year and this year. I simple don't get it why despite teaching and teaching, giving supplements and remediation, the results are still like that. Hmm.. now I understand how my teacher once felt....

God be my strength...

Disturbed

2006-05-23T22:10:00.000+08:00

Watched the Da Vinci Code last night and together with Matthew, invited Shuang Ru and Ivy along. This movie/book is fiction, but there's alot of controversy concerning what's being said. Some things are against Chrsitianity, and some against Catholicism. This show is about a curator who was being murdered because he possessed the answers to one of the world's greatest secrets, that when known, would shake the very foundations of Chrsitianity. Hmm.. so what is this? In the show it was depicted by Davinci's paintings that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were indeed together as a married couple, and that the actress in the movie, Sophie, was the last surviving descendant of Christ. According to the story that was unfolded, there were quotes from gnostic gospels like the goepel of Mary, which added much untruth to the truth. There were a few parts that I deemed satanic and cultic. It also denies that God is fully man and yet fully God. Silas, one of the characters, practiced one ritual where he would strip himself in front of the cross to self mutilate, and think himself worthy of God. Something like that. Seemed to me like a cult leh. The scenes that were in the churches and temples seemed scary because of the backdrop. And using 'new found' theories that are obviously wrong to disprove what is truth. It is read in testimonies that some people's faith have been shaken. Furthermore, this book is not of sound doctrine. At all... Towards the end of the show, where Tom Hanks finally found the place where Mary Magdalene was buried, he knelt heights above this tomb and revered it. Umm, my interpretation? Anyway, I found it so scary and eerie. Urgh.. Closed my eyes throughout the last scene. When I went home, on the way, the scenes kept replaying through my mind. Rather disturbed, though tired. Prayed and sang a song to myself, then slept.

God be my strength... 3 more days of school! Weeee!!!!

Go view...

2006-05-14T19:40:00.000+08:00

Global Day of Prayer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtUQUwqKVr4

God be my strength...

Lyrics of 3 meaningful songs

2006-05-14T12:12:00.000+08:00

Complete by Parachute Band

Here I am, Oh God
I bring this sacrifice--my open heart.
I offer up my life.
I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
Restores me again
So I lift my eyes to you, Lord
In Your strength will I break through, Lord
Touch me now, let your love fall down on me
And I will be complete in You.
Here I am, Oh God
I bring this sacrifice--my open heart.
I offer up my life.
I look to You, Lord.
Your love that never ends
Restores me again
So I lift my eyes to you Lord
And by faith, I will walk on, Lord
Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day,
And I will be complete in You
I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
Restores me again
So I lift my eyes to you Lord
In your strength will I break through Lord
Touch me now, let your love fall down on me
I know your love dispels all my fears.
Through the storm I will hold on Lord
And I pray I will hold on, Lord
Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day
And I will be complete in
I will be complete in
I will be complete in You

----------------------------------------------------------------------

His Strength is Perfect by Steven Curtis Chapman
I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength,
But sometimes I wonder what He can do through me;
No great success to show,
No glory on my own,
Yet in my weakness He is there to let me know . . .

CHORUS
His strength is perfect when our strength is gone;
He’ll carry us when we can’t carry on.
Raised in His power, the weak become strong;
His strength is perfect, His strength is perfect.
We can only know
The power that He holds
When we truly see how deep our weakness goes;
His strength in us begins
Where ours comes to an end.
He hears our humble cry and proves again . . .
(chorus)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

The Wonderful Cross (with Matt Redman lyrics) --> hymn
When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died
My richest gain I count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride
See from his head, his hands, his feet
Sorrow and love flow mingled down
Did ever such love and sorrow meet
Or thorns compose so rich a crown

O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
Bids me come and die and find that I may truly live
O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
All who gather here by grace draw near and bless
Your name

Were the whole realm of nature mine
That were an offering far too small
Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all

God be my strength...

Rebuke

2006-05-12T23:51:00.000+08:00

The Bible is a double edged sword and it teaches, rebukes, corrects and trains. Read an sms that Matthew sent many months ago, about feeling dry and unhappy, to run back to God. He emphasised about not just going back to God, but running literally. Being desperate in coming back to God. Today I spent a day resting, finishing marking exam scripts and praying to God. Read this passage of mini-sermon from a website that I was subscribing to. It spoke to me about my double mindedness. On one hand, I'm upset, and on the other, I was unwilling to make changes and to be steadfast in allowing God to work through me. I realised that these 2 were mutually exclusive items, and for one to be true, the other cannot take place. God is a jealous God, and if something else can take the fear of God, then this is not right. I'm sorry, God.

This is the passage that I would like to share with all:

Dead Wood
Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life.
James 1:12

Lloyd Shadrach is a good friend, a leader in our ministry to families and sensitive to lessons God has for him to learn. He once told me about walking down a road after a thunderstorm and stepping over dead limbs that had blown off a row of mature trees. "It was as though God was giving me a personal object lesson of what 'storms' can do in our lives," he said.
"In the middle of the storm when the wind is gusting, the lightning is popping and the storm clouds are getting darker, it's difficult to believe that our troubles are purposeful. But God may allow a storm in our lives to clear out the deadwood so that new growth can occur. And isn't it interesting how fresh the air feels after a storm is over?"
As Lloyd shared his parable with me, I couldn't help but think back and reflect on the deadwood, several cords of it, that has been blown from my life over the years. One of the most important things Barbara and I have learned from these storms is that God is interested in our growth. He wants us to trust Him in the midst of the storms and to grow together as a couple and not fall apart.
Lord Kelvin was lecturing his students on an experiment that failed to come off as planned. He said, "Gentlemen, when you are face-to-face with a difficulty, you are up against a discovery." How much better for family members to allow life's storms to enable them to depend on each other and discover new strength.Discuss: How have you reacted to the storms in your life? Have they drawn you closer as a couple, or have you allowed them to drive you apart?Pray: That your family will be able to persevere in all trials. Pray about a specific problem, and for your family to discover strength in Jesus Christ through it.

---Excerpted from "Moments Together for Couples" by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.
rights reserved. To purchase the book, visit ->http://www.familylife.com/1-800-358-6329/detail.asp?id\u003d1170

Before I read this devotion, I had read James 1:1-18 to get a fuller context of what it was saying. Verses 5-8 spoke to me most.

5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

I had almost forgot God is there all the time. Running back to God now!! May be slow, but better than never.
God be my strength...

I never knew I would dread this day

2006-05-12T10:51:00.000+08:00

The saying goes 'More Often or Not, The Truth Hurts'. Once again it's the exam season and I've really high hopes for both classes I'm teaching. Whatever I could possibly teach or give in aid to help all of them excel in 5F and do the best they can on 5H, I've already done. I learnt from last year that there are some things to put in place, like having speed tests, revision on a topical basis, as well as impromptu tests with the class. I even reserved times where I'd write notes on the whiteboard and revise with the students. They could reciprocate the correct answers whenever I ask questions.

The targets set at the beginning of the year are something that I took very seriously in achieving. Knowing that P5 is a big gap from P4, and I had expected grades to slightly diminish, yet, I was greatly disappointed that most of my students failed the exam. What is this?! The result came as a rude shock to me. It wasn't a wake up call to buck up and not be lazy, but a shake up to question perhaps my teaching methods or why I wasn't catering to my class' needs. After reviewing and looking into my teaching and processes, I was more or less assured of bringing the class to a higher platform. I was disappointed. I'm depressed over the grades. Some colleagues came to comfort me that perhaps it's the type of students that I get, but then, such things can't be repeated 3 times over. Last year once already, and this year twice with both classes? I'm too upset to think straight. What is it that I'm lacking so much that it could make students fail? Is it too 'happening' lessons? Should I just have chalk and talk instead? I see alot of teachers not having such things and their classes do perfectly. Whereas for me, spending time on PPT and possibly making learning meaningful and exciting doesn't pay off. Admit it, at the end of the day, the concern is all about grades. Who really cares if students want to be interested in a subject? Too early to inculcate such an interest? Maybe. I'm not realistic enough. I'm confused, and I don't know how to go on from here.

Left school in a huff yesterday after keying in the grades for English and Maths. Maths was horrific! Comparing with other classes didn't help much, and I was disgusted. It being my one and only favourite subject, besides physics (which I'm bad at, but unusually interested in because of my JC lecturer), I naturally want to teach it well and make sure that my students learn it well. The good students get better, yes, and I'm happy. The bad students get worse, and I don't get it how they get incredibly wierd grades. Thank God it's the long weekend. I'm really upset. Need a lot of thinking.

Next to come will be when the M analyses the results. I think I will get it again. Something I dread, because I don't have anything to hide and nothing to say. I honestly don't know how to account. I've done my job and went beyond it. There are limits to humans. All I can say is perhaps I'm going to remedy the situation by having extra remedial lessons for the very weak students in the June holidays. Going to make it compulsory man! No other excuses already. More homework for everyone, and I will be very very harsh on them. No face given to any of them. If this is what it takes to push their grades up, I'd do it. I am giving this one try, and I'm expecting positive changes to the grades. God please help me.

Few weeks ago I heard that in the second year of teaching, I could apply for Masters In Maths. I'm really interested in this, and that I would be studying more of learning methods of students etc. Something that I would like to be in. With these results now, the mood is kinda dampened. Arrgh... will give it a try still.

God be my strength...

Tired yet restful

2006-05-02T21:04:00.001+08:00

These few weeks, we colleagues have been so so busy. There are lots of things to be done... Exams are coming. Oh! Elections coming too! Piano exam coming too... So many things. Everyday tired out, like zombie. At least now I'm waiting for WR to be printed out. Recently nothing much to comment, just that it was a rested Labour Day for me. Next week looking forward to Vesak day! It's brother's birthday that day, but have to stay home to take care of him. Hmm...
Recently have been spending quite abit of time with Matthew. Hee! long weekend mah, so we went out quite abit. We went to Parkway to play this game called Amadillo. So cute leh. It's like a mini alligator kind of animal, thatrolls very fast down the road. Supposed to race to the end of the obstacle course and be graded how fast it took. Matthew got in 3rd and I got in 5th. I got thrown fruits at by the monkeys. Hmm.. Crying at a corner while being stoned. Quite cute picture but rather cruel hor? Next time you pass by this game, do give it a shot. The next time I played, I got in second, and one monkey was comforting me while another monkey tried to cover my pathetic state. Hmm. Hee! Matt took pictures of the screen, which were well taken. =)

I'm looking forward to the weekend already. It's so fast yeah? Exams are next week. Though I really hope I'm having ample time in doing revision wth my students.
God be my strength...

Guin's last day

2006-04-27T20:10:00.000+08:00

Hmm, today's Guin's last day at school. Aiyoh, my good friend going off. But really happy for her newer heights. =) A friend has left. Hmm, but nvm. Next time must ask her out more often for dinner. UMM!

God be my strength...

School

2006-04-25T20:41:00.000+08:00

Yesterday tested 6F and 6G oral. =) It was a pleasant experience becuse 6G consists of my ex-students. But of course it's gong shi gong ban for me. Yet, on the other hand, it was nice to see how they have changed as well as matured. Some of the boys are maturing... break voices liao. Hee! It was a late day and I ended at 5.35pm, testing all but 1 student who was absent.

Today, it's the P5s who were having oral exam instead. I hope they have done well. It was not easy keeping them occupied, because they were all tired as well. Feel sorry for them. All tired out. Tomorrow will be the eve of the compo exams and it would be busy for them as well. Hmm. I guess all of us look forward to the break on May 1st. =) At least that's what I look forward too. Heh! And not to mention Vesak Day too... heh, another long break! Without these breaks, it would be trying for many of us, and those who are coping with burnout. All of us need some form of entertainment in life. Can't do with work and no play at all. Like that productivity level will go down. How to gain exposure also?

Hmm.. got compo to mark but don't feel like. Physically tired leh. But then have to. Try at least...

I'm dead beat.

oral

2006-04-24T21:08:00.000+08:00

Gave oral exam to my beloved ex-5G today. My ex-students were so thrilled when they realised that I was going to test them. Got to test half the class. Well, they also know that I would gong1 shi4 gong1 ban4. But it was a happy thing, because it's a time that through the conversation, I get to know how they are getting on. The understanding was there as they spoke, and I could better comment on their style of reading. It's good to see them happy and more sensible. I'm thankful they've got a good teacher to teach them, and that they respond well. Cheers and all the best to their PSLE. =)

I'm looking forward to school!

Raging madness and burning out

2006-04-18T21:02:00.000+08:00

I'm growing to be more and more like a mad woman in class already. My patience has reached its limit and I'm literally screaming my head off. Can't stand rude attitude and noisy attitude as well. Can't even conduct lessons peacefully with a shout or a quarrel at almost every minute. What's this? Totally unacceptable behaviour! For a class that I consider intelligent, I really don't expect their EQ to be any lower. Surely there ought to be some form of discipline. Bullies and misbehaved kids... Imagine having to repeat what I have to say time and time again. I don't know what to describe them. On the other hand, exams are coming, and there's a mad rush to finish syllabus on time. So many worksheets and things to settle. All cramming in. Courses, admin stuff and others.... Piano exam coming soon. I really enjoy piano, yet with these worries, it tires me alot. Alot. Everyday I go home feeling so physically exhausted and mentally drained that I cannot afford to dapao books home to mark. The efficiency level has dropped so much, and it's simply out of the question to sleep past 11pm these days. Somehow, I just feel so lethagic. I wonder if my presence makes any form of impact to these students.

Teaching 2 classes makes me see a difference in both. One's receptive and eager to learn. The latter takes advantage and I try very hard to instill a sense of conscience in them. Very hard. Maybe I try too hard. I don't know. Just very tired out and just hanging on. Keep telling myself that I must persevere on and do whatever I can. Just leave the results to God and to the students. Whether they really want the best for themselves is up to them. I've really done my very best. Can't do more already. It's all that I can possibly give, never held back. Well, if anyone really asks me at the end of the day or questions, at least I know that I'm not guilty of witholding anything or putting them at any disadvantage in studies.

Trying out differentiated teaching and learning this year in my remedial classes, and with regards to doing of worksheets and parts of the workbook. Hope this helps the classes. Now, just have to deal with their attitude.

I'm looking forward to school!

Easter

2006-04-16T20:45:00.000+08:00

The Easter service today was ok, brought Guin to church. =) Hee! The sermon impressed on me quite abit, and the points of the message was to empasise the certainty of death, the certainty of judgement as well as the certainty of hope in Christ. The reason why Christ came to die to save us, all of us, really was a display of God's love for us. 2000 years since that fateful day, thank You God that my sins are now forgiven.

Went with Matthew to watch Keeping Mum at Tampines after lunch at Tekka market with Guin and Amos and Matthew. We watched this show mainly because the lead actor was Rowan Atkinson. We were positive that it would be a comedy. Hmm, besides, the title sounded interesting. Haha... interestingly funny! But, the show turned out to be a murder show. AIYAH! None of what we imagined. Only a few parts were funny. And that those jokes weren't meant to be laughed at. I found it interesting to see Rowan Atkinson talking so much this time round. And the fatherly side of him. Hee! His voice is not so low already, like in mr Bean. Neither was he funny. Except for the time he gave his speech in the convention. Well, if you want, not a bad show to watch, but perhaps on VCD or DVD. Heard that Under 8 is a nice show too. It's a doggy show.......

I'm looking forward to school!

Honesty

2006-03-31T20:51:00.000+08:00

Today the primary 5 students went to the hall after recess. After the talk given by the P, there was a commendation for 2 students who were being honest. They had found $50 in the school premises and had returned it to the general office. That's great honesty! And I was really glad for them. The biggest surprise and a pleasant one indeed was that one of the boys is my current student, Fitri! Wow.. I was proud of him. =) The other student was taught by me last year, Muhd Amirul. I was so happy for him too. Before he left the hall, he smiled at me. I smiled at him too. One thing that I always emphasise in my class is integrity. I'm not sure if what I'm teaching or preaching takes root in them, but I was glad that these 2 are my students. Considering that the amounts of $ was large, yet they were brave and honest enough to owe up to what they have found. Way to go!!! Cheers!

I'm looking forward to school!

Da Vinci Code n a Dream

2006-03-27T21:18:00.000+08:00

Went for a Da Vinci talk on Saturday at St Andrew's Cathedral. Umm, the talk was good, and informative. Especially it did discuss about the lies and conspiracies in the story against Chrsitianity. Hmm. Anyway... Got abit affected because it seemed so sad that people turn away from God and not only that, but to taint the picture of God. This talk made me realise why it is important that apologists are around. Not everyone has such an intellectual mind, but where there's any chance that we could stand up against the gospel, we ought to. I used to think not.. to leave such things to pastors, but then on Sunday, I was rebuked by a verse, that it's actually obligatory to do so. Correct me if I'm wrong, though. But I saw the importance of not being ignorant to what's going on. While irrelevant questions may be asked about the DVC itself, that is ficticious [obviously!], I would choose not to dwell on thinking on such things. Rather, last night, I was still rather disturbed by it all. Somehow, after the talk, after the sermon on Sunday, which talked about our response to the DVC and how to link it to evangelism as a tool, before I went to sleep, I thought I encountered some kind of feeling that overcame me. It was a very dark feeling, looming around me. It seemed to be telling me that the world is so corrupted and it's so sad. There are people everywhere against the truth, and though the world may look professional, appealing and everything nice on the front, yet it's actually degrading to such an extent that it's unrecognisable in nature already. What nature? Everything's so post-modern. I was greatly disturbed by it, perhaps didn't quite understand though felt it was something very grave. Then I had a dream, which I thought perhaps God gave it to me to make me understand it better.

I dreamt of this tyrant who was very intelligent and he was a Maths genius. He could come up with theories very easily and prove them well and flawlessly. He was just gifted. But this guy misused his giftedness to thwart the axioms of Maths, the very foundations that Maths is based on. He did it successfully, and because of all that, many wierd theories arose and over took those that had been established since the start of the ages. No more axioms. Btw, axioms are statements that are foundational to the knowledge building of Maths, so basic that it's so difficult to proof, but yet so essential. These are assumptions that are basic. So, without axioms, and new things coming up, I feared in my dream. How were engineers going to construct buildings? Won't architecture be unstable? How would Maths work? The checks and balances will not measure up. In a world where statistics is heavily relied on, how would the impact be? At work? In school? In banks? My mind was in a fear... Most worried of all, what I had thought was true all this while about Maths appears then to be all false.

Well, when I awoke partly due to the alarm clock and partly due to the mosquito bite and the shock of the dream, it seemed to me that God was telling me that how I felt was probably the state that things are in. I'm just interpreting my dream, of course anyone else could see it in another way.

Still, I'm glad that I have a God that is unchanging. In a changing world where everything seems to be relative, God is never relative. He is here all this while. Something that I can rely and put my heart into.

I'm looking forward to school!

Teacher-talk

2006-03-22T21:03:00.000+08:00

Did this interesting personality test on my teaching style in class.
http://education.indiana.edu/cas/tt/v1i2/what.html
Wanted to find out more about my style and if it encourages students to be naughty. I used this style more for this year than the last.
Results show that I'm authoritative. This has always what I've been aiming to be. And am like this in class. Second is authoritarian, third laissez-faire and lastly indifferent. I'm least indifferent to my students. Good? I suppose so.
Here's the description of an authoritative teacher.

The authoritative teacher places limits and controls on the students but simultaneously encourages independence. This teacher often explains the reasons behind the rules and decisions. If a student is disruptive, the teacher offers a polite, but firm, reprimand. This teacher sometimes metes out discipline, but only after careful consideration of the circumstances.
The authoritative teacher is also open to considerable verbal interaction, including critical debates. The students know that they can interrupt the teacher if they have a relevant question or comment. This environment offers the students the opportunity to learn and practice communication skills.
Ms. Smith exemplifies the authoritative teaching style. She exhibits a warm and nurturing attitude toward the students and expresses genuine interest and affection. Her classroom abounds with praise and encouragement. She often writes comments on homework and offers positive remarks to students. This authoritative teacher encourages self-reliant and socially competent behavior and fosters higher achievement motivation. Often, she will guide the students through a project, rather than lead them.
A student reacts to this style:
I like this teacher. She is fair and understands that students can't be perfect. She is the kind of teacher you can talk to without being put down or feeling embarrassed.

Pray and pray for tomorrow... I really hope things turn out for the better.
I'm looking forward to school!

Dream

2006-03-22T19:16:00.000+08:00

After nights of bad dreams and unrest regarding my class for at least the past week, today I had a dream. One of reassurance and God putting me in His hand as I struggle with my class. Again and again. Can't really describe it, but then, it gave me immense peace as well as control over myself again. Confidence, I mean. Tomorrow will be back to school. Not sure what's going to happen but I'll definitely be doing a prayer walk around the class before assembly starts. Pray at every inch of the class. Holding each and every one of them into God's hands, as well as to pray for the courage and the wisdom to speak to them, when I'm confronting the class tomorrow with this issue of discipline. Did simple plain white background PPT slides to guide my thoughts along.

If I don't do this now, I'll lose them even more when it comes to mid-term. God grant me the peace of mind...

I'm looking forward to school???

MC

2006-03-21T15:41:00.000+08:00

Throat was painful this morning and that was the last straw. I purposely gave myself one last chance... to sleep really early and then hope all pain and soreness would go away by next morning. But it just didn't. Today's supposed to be my busiest day, and if I were to go, then I better hope that I'm very well. If not I can almost confirm myself not turning up for school on Wednesday and Thursday already. Throat is very important to a teacher. Once spoilt, no more job.
Unwillingly this morning, I called school to report of my MC. Waited and waited. Even after I had called the school, I kept looking at the clock... WHether I should go or not... Umm....
It's a long day, and I agree with Matthew and my colleague Ruhaidah that I better be well for the long run. If not cannot last long. On the other hand, there is so much to do on an already busy day. Supposed to start out remedial with my H class today. 2 sets of remedial had to be cancelled, as well as Red Cross. Nevermind. Pick myself up again...
Doctor said that I didn't have infection, just imflammation. So that did not qualify me for antibiotics. Gave me some steroid tablets, usual losenges and cough medicine. The doctor whom I wanted to see which saw me previously wasn't around for the whole week. So I requested to see the doctor whom I saw twice previously for sore throat. Polyclinic! Still must commend them for good service. It was very crowded there, yet I got to register, see doctor, pay up and leave in an hour. There were 20 people in front of me when I just came into the polyclinic. So this speaks of how efficient they are. Medicine is good too.
Tomorrow will be returning to school. I found a quote while reading a newsletter from Learning Ventures: We can't afford to let teaching become soulless because too many lives and hopes depend on teachers. I think it's very true. Changed my gmail signature to this to remind myself of who I am, and why I'm put here. Tomorrow will be another exciting day. Maths Haven will be starting out! =) Short day compared to the rest of the days too. Hee!!

I'm looking forward to school!

Guin, Erni n Ismail

2006-03-20T20:30:00.000+08:00

Guin came to school today, first day of school. =)
Didn't get to parallel my class though, because she was reliefing another class. Hmm, will she get to relief my class tomorrow? Hmm. Hope I don't lose my voice till have to take MC!
She looked fine and was really happy for her! Hee! Maybe someday she will become a teacher... Maybe someday. Yay!

Ismail's a bright student in my class who always goes home understanding every bit of Maths that I've taught. He's one of the most inquisitive students in class and never stops to ask questions so long as he doesn't get a bit. Wow. I'm thankful to have such a student. In fact, today's the second time he's asked if he could stay back in school so that I could clarify with him his doubts as well as questions he could not solve after attempting them in the holidays. I was surprised as unlike most students, he would not let go of any chance to learn. Even in class, when a concept that I've taught is vague to him, he will ask on the spot, and ask and ask till he gets it. Then a smile breaks on his face, and he sees the light. Taught him while teaching Erni at the same time about BODMAS too. He was asking me word problems with regards to the CA1 paper. He's a student who doesn't want answers to be presented to him. Will stop me when he feels he knows how to solve a problem. He's a student who will go far. Being outspoken as well, and relatively good in English, it's rare to come across. 2 hours of teaching him was really worth it. We enjoyed the stay back session. Though it was very hot out in the open, without fan or aircon, just table and benches, it was a focused time of learning. Erni learnt her BODMAS too! Yay! Was glad that I was able to achieve what was planned. Actually was just for Erni to learn BODMAS. But Ismail came along, and all 3 of us learnt alot. Guin too! Who joined us for awhile to take a look. *smile*

I'm looking forward to school!

Altar Call

2006-03-19T13:44:00.000+08:00

Pastor Keith gave an altar call today and I went up. It was regarding a commissioning of God to the places He wants me to work at. And to be open to where He will lead me to in evangelism. I stepped out because I felt prompted by God that I'm not serving Him first and foremost. Where I am is where He has put a heartbeat in me. At Fengshan I'm thankful to handle classes where there are needs around, where I feel He's put me here for a purpose. To be their friend. To be their ear to listen, to sense that hurt in them that comes out only in violence.

Thank You for placing me where I am.

I'm looking forward to school!

One Week Break

2006-03-17T17:29:00.000+08:00

Seems that this week just flies by so quickly. Caught sore eyes on Tuesday so unable to go for my course. Backflow of eyedrop caused me to have dry cough and subsequently sore throat, which is today, Friday. Inbetween, caught a flu bug. Hmm.. Happening in this way, I guess. Well.

Would say it's been a restful week for me, especially for Tuesday where the medicine I took simply konked me out. Slept for one whole day with 2hour intervals to makan and bathe etc. Haha, was like an oink oink.

Back to school on Monday again. It's something good, and I'm looking forward to it, really. Though I can't finish up all that I need to, I miss the kids all in all. I wonder how they are doing in the holidays. One week flew by like that, never to come back again.

This term will be a siong one. More siong than the previous one. Will take care though. Btw Guin is working as relief at my workplace too! YAY! Met her today to go through some of the preparation for Monday in school. Glad she's ok about things. Got to say 'hi' to a few colleagues too. =) Monday's going to be exciting, really. Really!

Will I be excited like other kids waiting to go school on Monday? Haha... You bet!

I'm looking forward to school!

Grandma's Death Anniversary

2006-03-15T12:24:00.000+08:00

Today... 11.15am. 2 years ago. Monday. Critical moment. Uncle Yeow Song and Aunty Bessie there first. Aunty Joyce and I arrived. TTSH. Routine visitation. Grandma had fever. Massaging her. On ventilator. Can't move. Ignored my calls. Worried. Can't talk.

Then, 12.20pm. Nurse changed medicine for grandma to breathe. Grandma stopped breathing. hey... Hey... HEY!!!!!!!! I cried. Uncle was called back ASAP. Clutched on to hp, kept calling everyone to come. Mum didn't answer, dad in meeting. Sister in lab. Fought to hold back tears. You have to wait, grandma! Doctor came to examine her. We were told to go out of the room. Next door had some visitors who gossipped about the outcome. I diao-ed them.

Called all family members to rush down ASAP cos grandma's blood pressure was going down. Heart rate too. We were losing her. She was holding back as much as she could.
She heard the gospel before she passed away, and there were streaks of increased heart beating over that time. WHatever it meant, we didn't know.

1.15pm, she was pronounced dead. Sis came in a little too late at 3pm.
2 years later today, this all seemed to happen just yesterday. I will somehow think of her when the taxi passes by her old house when getting to church on Sundays. How I wished I had spent more time with her...

I'm looking forward to school!

Damage control

2006-03-07T21:23:00.000+08:00

There was P5 interclass soccer, captain's ball and basketball tournament today. Spirits were very high and all classes were so excited regarding the games. My class was all ready with soccer boots and sports shoes etc. They had trained very hard and was expecting game after game to be winning ones. Yet, other classes weren't that bad as well. They had their fair share of good players. One class had a class t-shirt printed for all students to wear for just this event. Wah, machaim spoil market. Anyway, my class was focused and the captains led the teams well. I could not take a picture of what was going on because I was umpire for the captain's ball matches. But with whatever little time that I had, I encouraged my various teams as well as to give responsibility to the captains to support and inspire the team. Results were as follows, that basketball won all matches and will stand a chance for 1st and 2nd placing. Soccer and captain's ball lost a match and will stand hope for 3rd and 4th placing. After recess, the 2 teams that lost a match was visibly upset. There were already fingers pointing at each other, even at me, whom they thought I wasn't fair in my umpiring. Aww....
So, I decided to do damage control after recess for 1 period, which is 30 minutes. I had wanted the class to get straight into spelling corrections and after that to finish up the remaining worksheets for the rest of the term. But then, I felt that self reflection and damage control was more important.
Had to be very careful with what was spoken.
Wrote 'Reflection' on the whiteboard. And a few points that I wanted the class to think about. That 1) Winning is not everything 2) Mindset is more important than skill 3) Know your team mates 4) integrity is important in sportsmanship.
Talked to my class and I was grateful that they were in a sober state to listen. Many were black faced but still managed to listen. I praised them for the way that they played. In fact, playing with strong teams brought out the best in the team. Forget all the criticising and unhappiness, I got them to focus on their strengths, as well as to be professional about their actions. My captain's ball captain was carried away and face was so red with rage. But after listening to the words, she calmed down and focused her energies to the match tomorrow. I told the class too, and stressed to them that 5F would rather be a class who plays our best rather than one that is not honest. Dishonest teams would not gain the respect of supporters. They agreed to it, and there was a silent nodding of heads. I shared about my experience in table tennis, the year I got to know Xiang Ru through a match that was really tough. I emphasised that at times we may train very hard, but if we are not good enough, we lose and learn from there. I told the class that Xiang Ru is one of my best friends now. Indeed it's something happy as I think back now. I shared with the class about JC year 2 when my team got betrayed by another school in terms of placing of players as well as our competencies. Not sure who was the betrayer, but my team lost horribly. My class came to understand that integrity is very important, and to be sly snd cunning in such despicable ways is uncalled for. They also know that I would not support that form of attitide.
It was a learning experience for all, and I got them to write it down in their journal. Some were sad, some angry, others were glad they learnt something from it. Looking forward to tomorrow's matches again!!! Hope my class wins something. I told them that it's something that we can all feel proud of since it's out very first time working together as a team. =) They smiled and agreed.

I'm looking forward to school!

I will never forget

2006-03-04T14:57:00.000+08:00

2 things to say today, when I went to school. How I wished I never knew the second...
For a module that I took 1 year ago, my lecturer felt that it was very well written and strongly urged my group and I to post a research paper over ASCD Review magazine. It's a well known local educational journal by teachers and NIE lecturers and tutors. I remember I was hyped up about writing and sending this in because apart from being able to add this into work review, it would definitely be something learnt. Well, the going was rougher than I thought, as there was already some unpleasantness in the working out of the project. I told myself, nevermind, just push on. So I tried accommodating to their work schedules. They wanted a Saturday at first and I agreed to it. Then later Saturday cannot work out because one of them had Mendaki. Ok nevermind. I asked for Saturday afternoon or evening. Reply was 'cannot'. Then nevermind, I asked for Sunday afternoon, 1.30pm, right after church service. Reply I got is that they die die wanted it to be at 9am, where it was when my church service starts. When I told her, the informal leader that I can't make it due to church, the reply was unhappy. So I had to comply? No lah! So I did not go because by right they all knew I had church. Still I did not understand why decisions are agreed based on whose voice is the loudest. Ok, nevermind, I swallow. They met up and I was anxious to find out what was being discussed, so I messaged them. I volunteered to type up the report earlier on, and to provide whatever information that was lacking. So I did. Tidied up whatever that was needed. Did a check of grammar etc too. Sent it to the other to vet through before sending in to the publisher. Publisher replied in email that she needed some pictures to support the report. So I provided my pictures without hesitation. In the final draft sent back to me, no pictures were in there, and my heart dropped. What!!! You mean all my pictures weren't in at all??? No other email replies ever since and I forgot about the ASCD review.

Today I went to school and my department HOD approached me to tell me that my work has been published. HUH? I was shocked. Why didn't anyone tell me? I was so so happy that the first thing that occured to me was to check it out, and on the way down to check, to call and inform as many of the team members as possible. I kept reminding myself to tell them not to forget to write iin their work review. I was beaming with joy and trying every means to contact anyone out of our group of 4. Called the one who sent the email. Not in, or rather, no one picked up the phone. Then I reached the office and quickly zapped a copy of the report for reference. At least better than nothing. On my way up to my office, I called the informal leader. She soounded bochup about the entire thing, and when I told her the news with much eagerness, she simply said in a dull tone 'yeah, I know'. I realised she wasn't even interested to continue the conversation with me, and put the phone down. Immediately I messaged the other 3 members to tell them, and say that if they don't have the copy of the magazine, I can zap my copy for them. The message read: HEY GREAT NEWS! Our article was published in ASCD magazine! Dec issue... Yay! Go check it out. If you dun hv, Ive zapped fr sch. Can mail u a copy of it. =)' Only the last member of the group replied to say she had not heard the news at all. We both were so happy and talked over the phone about it. I also reminded her about putting it in work review. She mentioned that not many people want to share how they do things with others and she feels so lost. I told her the truth about how I found out about this. She was deeply shocked too. Why didn't anyone tell us about it? Obviously it was the 2 others who knew that this was published, but deliberately hid it from us. Why? Because we are not like them? Or anything else? Haven't I contributed what I could to the team? Even more and as long as they had a request, I would try to fulfil it to the best of my ability. Am I too 'on' for them? Was it getting to their nerves? Offended them? So, in short, out of the 4 of us, 2 apparently got to know of the news and kept it from the other 2.

I was upset from the kind of betrayal I got from people whom I considered friends. Now they are far from being fair weathered friends. I do not know how to recognise the state of relationship at all. I'm confused. Should there be an outing again, should I attend? Has it got anything to do with me in the first place?

Dad was happy for me when I brought the news home, but because I was so overwhelmed by what happened, I just broke down. Was so sad to be betrayed by both people like that. It's a small thing, but with effort, sweat and blood put in, how could the credit be just taken by them and not shared by all, which is ment to? I'm hurt. Anyway, I went ahead to email ASCD for 2 complimentary copies of it so my friend and I could have it for reference.

This has taught me a lesson. Never to trust people whom I've known for awhile completely. You never know when they will turn their backs on you...

Rantings

2006-03-02T22:51:00.000+08:00

Some things happened today. Read the school wensite and realised that Niki had posted a message to say best wishes for 5F in the coming basketball tournament. They are really excited about the interclass match coming up next week. Funny, I feel along with them as well and excited and happy that they are so hyped up about training. They are taking every PE lesson seriously, every recess time to practice, and every day after school to play awhile. Even when the review test is today and tomorrow, they still persisted in their training. =) Good! Really hope they will do the class proud next week. A good encouragement is healthy for them. Hee!

Talked to a parent today for 1.5 hours, after I received complaints about the kid always getting into trouble. He's a very fortunate boy, and I hope that in the end, he will turn out to be someone who can contribute greatly to society. Got to know him better after talking to his mother, but can't really guarantee that he will stop making trouble. Everyday fighting and getting beaten more than once?? Aiyoh!

Another happening is that today during supplementary the class was so noisy. Dunno why. Wrote down names to stay back. YX was one of them. She had nothing to do. ANd I told her to stay for 30 minutes. Then I had an idea, why not to revise work with her? Surprisingly there were 3 other Malay girls who wanted to ask me more about the Maths that I taught that lesson. They stayed back for a good 45 minutes with me, in the end out of their own accord, to learn. All were able to learn and did a good job in conprehending what was taught. Tomorrow they would be my 'ambassadors' to teach those in class who do not understand the concept. Was happy yet tired from the teaching. HJ commented that I had slimmed down quite a bit. Good and bad. =)

Signed up for a couple of courses in the March and June holidays. Excited about them. I'm in fact so thankful to be in the Maths committee. Though it can be stressful, yet my interest is in this area. I really don't mind attending more of such courses, as well as contributing more in this area of Maths. Maths Haven is 4 days old already, and my 10 members of 5F have been helping me up everyday, over recess time to organise students when they want to play the game Rush Hour there. Syed was really nice and responsible to take charge of this. I was on recess duty today and I passed the responsibility to him. He handled it beautifully! Great! This will take off rather fast and I'm thankful for a good RO who's supportive as well.

Ok ok... I go and practice piano for 10 minutes before talking to M-A-T-T-H-E-W!

I'm looking forward to school!

Divine Exchange

2006-02-26T19:46:00.000+08:00

Learnt this song a month ago and sung it today over church service. A very meaningful song that has been on my mind for the past month. =) Want to share with everyone.... It's by Hillsongs Australia, didn't know that till I searched it online.

Song name: Divine Exchange
Artist: Abundant Life Ministries

My heart is captivated Lord, by You alone
captured by the awesomeness of You alone
melted by the grace and mercy You have shown
I stand in wonderI reach to you the one who make the blind eye see
who break the chains of sickness with authority
restoring of what was broken
so we may fly again

I live to worship you
I breathe to worship to you
all of my days, your face I'll seek
For as I worship you
You lead me to that place
To that place of divine exchange

I'm looking forward to school!

Healthy Lifestyle Day for Teachers

2006-02-24T20:38:00.000+08:00

Felt cramps for the whole of today, didn't want to go to school. But there were lots to do. Lots to clear and to mark. And I'm developing a phobia of marking Maths workbooks already. Some are so badly done and corrected that I somehow don't know where to start marking. I didn't know marking can be so tedious. Indeed, after school today, I marked and marked. Bought bread and soya bean drink of lunch, and while looking through the journals my class typed over PC lesson, I was munching the food. No appetite, due to the cramps. Even now, when I've not had dinner yet. Not sure if I'm tired or not. But I'm having a lot of things to do yet not wanting to do them. Guess I'm just looking forward to a break....
Umm, not that I dislike school eh!

I'm looking forward to school!

Tamil Students

2006-02-23T20:55:00.000+08:00

Wanted to encourage my Tamil students yesterday in school because of something they did which really touched my heart. There's one aspect of Tamil culture that I did not know, but slowly showed over the 2 months of teaching. That all my Tamil students have the habit of thanking me after every single lesson that I've given them. They would be the first to say 'thank you', 'sorry', 'goodbye' and it really surprises me. At least none or few of my other students say that to me. I shared it with 5H yesterday, as they had 4 Tamil students. Really polite boys! Wah, I asked the Tamil students to stand and I encouraged them in front of the whole class that upon asking and knowing that this form of courtesy is part of the Tamil culture, it really touched and warmed me. I was really pleased with the kind of respect they treated other people. Remarkable! A Tamil teacher shared with me over lunch about this, and I told her that wow! it's just so refreshing to hear such words of affirmation from students.

I told the class that this is something that they can all pick up from the Tamil culture, something that is brought beyond the culture of the particular race itself and to Chinese, Malay and Eurasian homes. I told the class to surprise and warm the hearts of other teachers who stepped into class. Besides, to also thank people who are close to them, like their parents.

Didn't expect them to pick it up, and after that, more students thanked me for the teaching etc. Umm, starting out lah, but then it's a good way of making other people's day. =) People need encouragement...

I'll be learning from them! Not to take others for granted....

I'm looking forward to school!